what have i found

Truly there was nothing that Duchess could do, if there was, Indigo would have done everything in his power to accomplish his goal. He was powerless. Powerless to save Rue, his grandmother, or to make Gypsy trust him. He felt like he was a failure, but then he felt Duch’s gentle touch against his cheek. Teary blue eyes blinked open as she held onto him, trying desperately to share the heavy weight he carried on his shoulders. She’d been with him through so much already, though not together for very long Indigo earned her trust and devotion. Realizing that fact brought more tears to his eyes. The young man didn’t deserve an ounce of it from her. Indy clung to her because it was easier than facing his hard truths. He led her on a fantastical trail that would never lead where she wanted. He hid his deepest darkest secrets from her because it was too hard to say them.

She loved him and Indigo allowed her to when the feeling would never be fully reciprocated. Aslatiel held tightly to his heart, there was no other wolf he loved as much. And yet he couldn’t tell Duchess because there was also a part of him becoming attached to her. He didn’t completely understand if it was love or dependency. She was a medication to ease his symptoms, a way to get high while he felt so low. Duchess was special to him, and he was lying to her by omission. By not being upfront with who he really was beneath.

Duchess promised to do her part so he didn’t have to relive what happened to Rue, she would devote herself as much as Indigo was to the poor souls that crossed his path. More than that was her promise to him, she wanted to take his pain and heartache. ”Duchess,” he started. Didn’t she know just being here with him like this was exactly what he needed. Someone to show his weakness to, who understood or at least offered a shoulder to cry on. Someone to hold him while Aslatiel could not.

Indigo squeezed her tighter, one cat like paw holding her shoulders as he pressed her to his chest, and the other at her hips as he held her body close to his. Indy squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth as he buried his face into her soft fur. His last confession sitting at the tip of his tongue. The very reason he was here to begin with. Yet the words remained unsaid, and the tension lingered in his form. ”I need you,” he told her, but kept the reason he needed her obscure. ”It hurts so bad. I...” His chest and the massive hole where his heart should be. He stopped again tongue tied and not strong enough to confess.