Find your comforts

Tamsyn smiled when he told her how well Gwynevere had been doing in taking care of him, always happy to hear praise for her children. But then his expression grew more serious and her smile faded, her ears falling back against her head as he spoke. The last thing she had wanted was to spread her own guilt to him and her heart broke as she watched him roll to lay on his stomach, his large paws dangling over the edge, for him to ask if she regretted what they had done. She immediately shook her head no. Any of her guilt or regret wasn't around the fact that they had been together or enjoyed each other - but just perhaps where and when they had done it. "No! No, I... I don't regret it. I had a wonderful night with you. It's... It's all I've been thinking about all day." A little, momentary smirk pulled at her muzzle at that. Even when she was here around Gwyn, giving him the simplest pleasantries, thoughts of their time together had been swirling in her head and it had taken all of her self control to keep her composure.

She settled onto her haunches near him, her mint gaze apologetic. "It's not your fault, Kane, it's mine. I'm sorry... I..." Her ears fell back again with a sigh, struggling with her guilt for making him feel this way. "I was afraid Gwynevere would find me here. Honestly, out of my children she would probably take it the best, but if it got back to Artorias, well..." She shook her head slightly with a soft chuckle. "He is extremely protective. Lets just say he hasn't exactly taken the idea of me being with anyone else very well in the past. I didn't want him to find out second hand or find me laying here with someone he didn't know. They've already been through so much." She lifted one of her paws and, if he allowed it, curled one of her much smaller paws around one of his own. "I don't regret what we did at all, maybe just... how and where we did it. I should have been more responsible than that and I... I should have at least said something to you this morning so I'm very, very sorry."

She smiled softly, giving his paw a gentle squeeze as she tried to assess his expressions and his reactions. She hated that he had been pulled into the mess of her family. She wished it could just be as easy as finding an attraction in one another and enjoying that. Unfortunately, she didn't have that luxury. She had to think about her children and how they would feel about her being with someone else after their mother passed away in such a traumatic, bloody way after wasting away in a dungeon for months. Nothing in her life had ever been particularly easy, but this had truly been one of the hardest things she had been though and now her children were experiencing it along side her and were facing the first real traumas in their lives. Plus, they were too young to really understand love and attraction and desires. One day it might be easier, but for now they were young and hurt and they would always be her top priority... But she wanted to make time for herself too.

"I understand if you don't want to be in the middle of all of this mess," she added softly, giving him a small, sad smile. "Just tell me if you want to stop things here and call it a good memory. I won't hold it against you or anything. She certainly didn't expect him to work around her complicated family dynamic in the middle of them mourning. That was a lot to ask of a stranger that she only met the night before, no matter how much she was attracted to him or how much she genuinely liked him.

Tamsyn Carpathius