This Pain is My Doing

*Emersyn* · 05-28-2021, 05:31 PM

Emersyn cringed a little when Indigo began to cough and sputter to her mention of him having a type; she hadn't intended to irritate his wound, but she couldn't keep the smirk off her face from poking at his buttons. The reaction had been enough to make it worth it. "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you," she apologized, trying her best to keep her eyes off of his torn belly that she had been the cause of. She didn't need the constant reminder of how she'd almost gotten this kind stranger killed. It did also serve as a reminder as to why she needed to get the hell out of here as soon as she could walk. She couldn't put these other wolves in danger.

Indigo glanced over the circumstances that had brought his motley crew together in the first place. Gypsy he had found tied to a tree and left for dead. Duchess and Begin had found him by happenstance. So those were their names... Gypsy was the tiny blind wolf, she deduced, given that the other two had sight and the capacity to free themselves if they'd been tied to a tree. Duchess must have been the dramatic girl and Segin the flamboyant boy. Okay, so at least she had names to go along with the faces now. Indigo mentioned fate bringing them together, and Emersyn wrinkled her nose up at the notion just out of his view. Fate. Had fate also been the one to decide her life was worthless the moment she had been born? Had fate decided she would be sold to a pit fighter at the age of six months? Had fate forced her to run for her life now? Fuck fate...

Throughout their conversation, Em's paw never stopped running through Indy's mane, partially out of idle motion and partially because she wanted to do something to help ease the pain he was in. She liked the way his fur felt between her digits, her claws being ever so delicate to rake against the back of his neck through that dense fur. "I don't know what I believe in," she admitted under her muttered breath. "I've just taken every day as they come. Never put the effort into considering anything outside of that." And why would she? When every day was a literal fight between life and death, why waste the time considering what higher power might have put her in this situation? It was useless and brought her nothing but anger and misery.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Indigo..." she said after a moment, unable to look at the man in the eye while she struggled to get the confidence up to apologize properly. "I shouldn't have let you get hurt for me. I shouldn't be here now. This shouldn't have happened to you." I should've been the one who was attacked. I should be dead. She didn't say the words, but the grim thoughts hung around in her brain like a wraith plaguing her conscience. The weight of that guilt darkened her eyes, and she did her best to keep them averted so he wouldn't see them. He was in enough pain as it was.

"Emersyn"

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