This Pain is My Doing
Indigo
05-29-2021, 10:27 PM
It did help soothe the guilt ripping through her heart like a twister to see that something as simple as running her claws through his thick fur was relaxing him and easing the pain. She was not a healer; she knew next to nothing about healing physical injuries, only able to create them. But in this moment, she could have fooled even herself. Indigo almost seemed like he was falling asleep from the gentle ministrations of her paw on the back of his neck. Em hadn't even been sure he was still conscious or listening to her speak until he was suddenly sitting up with a start, catching her by surprise when his intense blue eyes pulled hers to his. He explained that she couldn't have stopped him and shouldn't be apologetic. Her ears flattened to her head; she realized there was nothing she could have done to stop him, but she could have prevented this situation entirely by dying sooner, or choosing not to stop at the river when she had. All of the what-ifs and variables that had led to this outcome, that was what she blamed herself for. Everything bad that happened was because of her. Why couldn't he understand that?
Rather than try to explain it further to the pained brute, she simply said nothing, letting him say the words on his mind before he lay his head back down on his paws. She swallowed back the tightness in her throat, resisting the urge to snap back that he knew nothing about what she could have done or being so stupid he'd get himself hurt over her again. He asked what her plans were after they had healed, and Emersyn responded with a shrug of her shoulders. "I don't know. Guess I'll keep running," she responded equally as plainly. "My master isn't going to stop sending hunters after me just because a few of them were killed. He'll just send more. And more. And more, until he gets what he wants."
That was just the kind of monster he was, and that was just how life was for her. She'd be running for the rest of her life until the day she died. Anyone who got close to her would be in danger of ending up like Indy—or worse. She had been so absorbed in her melancholy that she hadn't even realized this was her first mention of her past to him. The words just spilled out, like speaking them had been natural when in his presence.
