we swam the evening away

He didn’t want to say the words, he really didn’t. But he was too honest for his own good, or maybe even worse for Duch’s good. She recoiled slightly, lifting her paw from his chest and avoiding his gaze. He would never intentionally hurt her and when faced with two evils he chose the lesser. Trying to tell her the truth, and she knew. Or mostly knew, guessed at what else was going on when he was not beside her. Or the truth about who held his heart and why he was so far away from her. Duchess refused him, not from his lips. Indigo quieted, but as she didn’t make any move to get up he still held tightly to her thin frame.

Tears filled her eyes and after everything she still told him that she could not live without him. Indigo closed his eyes, furrowing his brows and cursing himself for this mess he’d so happily blundered into. Duchess deserved more than he could give her, and yet here he was continuing to hold tightly to her as she clung to him. ”You don’t have to.” He assured her. For days at a time he left her side, but would always return. As long as she wanted to be in the band, he would be in her life. ”I’m here.” He reminded her again as he pressed his muzzle against her jaw and held his head over her protectively. ”I’m sorry.” Sorry that he couldn’t give her everything. Even more sorry he was put in this position to begin with. There wouldn’t ever have been any hurt if he had been allowed his heart’s true desire. He'd dove into her because she was his quick fix, the bandage on the surface, his solution to having a normal life. He took so much more than he gave and he couldn't help himself.