The past keeps coming back to haunt me

After he got Serenity settled into one of the spare rooms for the night, he knew what his next stop had to be. He'd introduce Serenity to his children in the morning, but there was someone he needed to tell first before he did anything else. He paced through the castle, trying to gather his thoughts while he followed Eska's scent out of the castle and into the grounds that surrounded it. Even though Serenity seemed to hold no grudge against him for how things had ended up in her life without him, he still held so much disappointment in himself. He had been a younger man back then and had never been with a woman before Bella so he tried to give himself some slack for not following up with her after what he had been just a single, spontaneous night together, but he still managed to find plenty of self loathing for something he had unknowingly done.

He went out to the usual paths that he and his pack members would patrol the ground, his silver eyes looking for the woman he loved. He hadn't spoken the words out loud, but it was firmly planted in his heart, a space carved out only for her. Maybe what made him feel even worse over the whole situation was the fact he seemed to find more and more that he had to bring to her, constantly fearing that the next thing that was uncovered might be the last straw. The way she had handled Aranea and the situation that had followed had cemented his dedication to her, his desire to repay that forgiveness back ten fold, and it felt like too much to ask of her for her to forgive this too. He knew it was something that had happened way before they met, even well before he met Azariah for that matter, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that he was walking into heartache as he sought her out.

It was late in the evening, the last of the sunset had just disappeared from the sky, revealing the full brightness of the moon and stars above him. He finally spotted Eska's brindled form and for a second he just took in her beauty and the way the moonlight glimmered off of her silver markings, longing squeezing at his chest. He wished he could erase his past, start over his life with finding Eska so he could be the man she deserved - not someone weighed down with terrible decisions and judgement. He approached her feeling like a pup preparing to be scolded by his mother, his expression apologetic and guilty as he stopped in front of her. "Eska... I need to talk to you."

Ulric Adravendi