something i must live with

*Dalila* · 06-25-2021, 03:09 PM

Dalila watched Chimera walk away with Aliana and she couldn't quite get herself to move, even as she turned her blue back gaze toward Siren. She had never felt this kind of emotion before. Watching Chimera care for Siren, dote on her, massage her paws, give her gentle kisses... She had never felt this kind of jealousy before. It twisted at her chest and clenched at her gut, morphing into some kind of anger toward the man that had caused all of this to begin with. She had been living what she felt was the perfect life. She had a friend in Siren, she found so much joy in caring for the smaller woman, and felt blessed beyond measure that she got to be her lady's servant day in and day out. If she did nothing else but be Siren's companion, groom her fur, and help her with her herbs and deer for the rest of her life then Dalila would die happy. But Chimera had tipped the balance and started the tidal wave.

She knew she wasn't completely free of blame. She had gone against all of the tenants that had been drilled into her mind as a pup. Be quiet. Do your work. Don't get attached. Don't step out of line. She had known that Chimera had been the one to purchase her, that he had been the one to assign her to Siren's care. No matter how close she had gotten with her lady she should have known better. She shouldn't have let Siren follow through with Chimera's demand to find a replacement. She should have insisted on remaining Chimera's and enduring whatever he wanted from her and restored the balance of things. But she hadn't done that. She had allowed Siren to experience the slave camp again and had let her give away all her treasures to purchase Aliana just to hand her off into Chimera's dangerous paws. Guilt mixed into her jealousy and anger and threatened to strangle her alive.

But as soon as Siren walked up to her and wrapped herself around her leg, Dalila's rigid stance broke. She crumbled and her expression softened as she looked down at the small, pale, beautiful woman that leaned into her like a pillar to hold her upright. Her emotions drained away now that they were alone again and all that was left behind was guilt. Her ears fell back against her head and her own tears collected in her eyes as Siren fell under the weight of it all, Dalila quickly falling back onto her haunches so that she could gently lift her tiny, sobbing lady off of the sand, wrapping her up in an embrace and holding her against her chest, tucking her head down over hers. Hearing Siren's soft cry of her name shattered her, making her squeeze her eyes closed as she held her tight.

"I'm sorry, my lady," she apologized, her voice soft and wavering. She didn't feel worthy of all of this. She didn't feel worthy of the heartache that Siren had to go to have her. She was nothing, just a servant. A slave. A servant that loved her lady more than she could ever, or probably should ever, admit. "I'm so sorry... I should've... I..." Her words failed her and she whined softly and just held Siren, supporting her weight and letting her cry. She got what she wanted, she got to be with Siren, but she didn't like the cost it took to have that. Once Siren's sobbing began to soften she lifted her head and brought a gentle paw to Siren's cheeks, carefully wiping the tears away from her two toned eyes.

"Speech"

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