Because Of You
08-03-2013, 01:19 PM
He understood next to nothing about what was going on with himself at the moment. He didn't know why he was standing here with Orica, why she bothered wasting her time with him, why he was feeling the way he was feeling with her. Nothing made sense, everything was wrong and yet just maybe everything was right. Maybe this was how his life was supposed to play out. Perhaps he was meant to run into Orica, meant to have her in his life. This feeling, this hammering, this thudding in his chest of his frenzied heart, the heart he never thought he would find, was bringing the realization that maybe he wasn't so hopeless to light. She was inspiring change in him...She made him want to be better. These feelings she was stirring in him were foreign...They...They made him want to care for her, protect her, be there for her every moment of every day. He wanted to be something more than just the big bad wolf she'd saved a season ago. He wanted to be something to her, but just what he didn't know. A friend? He didn't have friends and he'd never have friends. A lover? He couldn't imagine doing to her what he'd done to so many females. She was much too precious for something like that. He wanted to be something to her...but she had to allow him to be first.
The leopard now behind Demyan made no sound nor movement to distract the pair. He was fairly satisfied with sitting on the sidelines and watching things play out. He could feel something stirring in the air, signaling some kind of change and he was curious to see what would become of the murdering hellion.
Orica hadn't moved from her position before him, her body posture still the same, sapphires never leaving his cyans. There was something between them. He could feel it and he knew she did too. The gap between them seemed miles long, when in truth it was only a stride or two away. He kept replaying her soft kiss in the snow over and over, wishing that she would touch him again like that. He had never wanted a woman's touch like he wanted Orica's. But he would make no move towards her, make no outward show of his wanting her touch. He would remain where he was, standing before her, the movement he would provide would be the lifting of his head to level his gaze with hers, ears pricking forward as she spoke, her voice soft and hushed, a tremble to her words. ...What are you? A pained look enveloped his cyan eyes, his throat tightening as that now familiar twisting of his gut hit him. A...monster...Something you should hate... His words were quaking, a barely there rumble as he allowed the word to fall from his bloodied lips. She should hate him...despise him, be revolted by him...So why was she still here?
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