Douse This Fire

Ezra hadn't been sure if Syanna would open up about what had happened or not and either way he would have been fine with her decision, but once she started speaking he settled back to listen, taking in every word. She painted an ugly picture for him of the life she had before with a pack that mistreated and used their females, reducing them down to nothing more than a thing to be owned and even that concept alone was disgusting. He couldn't imagine ever treating a living thing like that, much less another wolf and a woman at that. If there was one thing his father had always drilled into his mind it was to protect and respect faes - not abuse and mistreat them. He appreciated her ambition and her desire to be her own wolf and pursue her own dreams, especially since it was a concept he had taken to heart when he was very young as well, but even before she moved on to the rest of her story he already had a sinking feeling that it would be her downfall in a place like that.

He listened as she described her terrible father's hunger for power and his intentions to use her to get what he wanted, promising her off to some entitled prince. Dread filled settled in his gut as soon as she mentioned how this alpha's son had cornered her in his den, already beginning to put the pieces of this sick puzzle together in his mind. Her description was even more horrible than he could have imagined and rage creeped up on him for this awful brute, desperately wishing that he could have the chance to tear into him for what he did, but soon Syanna revealed how she had taken revenge into her own paws to protect herself and get away from this bastard and he couldn't help the pride he felt for her standing up for herself. It was horrific and traumatizing, but he was so glad that she had been able to get away and to permanently maim that boy in the only way that really felt fitting for what he did.

He had hoped that perhaps that would be the last of the trauma she experienced, but no, she went on to describe her father's reaction and what he had done in response and he slowly began to understand where her belief that it had been her fault had come from. She grow up in this pack that told her from the day she was born that she was nothing more than something to be used by men and the moment she stood up for herself she was kicked while she was down and condemned for not letting the man she was promised to continue to rape her. It was deeply flawed logic on every level, but he could understand what had put those thoughts in her head and he loathed these wolves she grew up around, silently hoping that they eventually met painful, terrible ends.

With her story done she explained that had all been the reason behind her avoiding him and any other men, how that had created her fear of larger males, and why she had been so afraid of her first heat. His own ears fell back as she slumped in on herself, shrinking down even smaller than she already was, giving the weakest laugh when her brilliant emerald eyes finally turned back toward him, looking up at him with tears staining her cheeks. He couldn't return her smile, too overwhelmed with concern and sympathy and anger, his heart too broken for her to even try to play this off like she was. He wanted to fix this so badly for her. He wanted to turn back time and be the one wolf that stood up for her when no one else would, but he couldn't. All he could do now was try to help her heal no matter how impossible that felt.

He had been trying to give her distance, trying not to push her, but seeing her like this made it impossible to not reach out to her. He quietly wrapped his forelegs around her shoulders, pulling her up into his chest as he tucked her head down over hers and held her tight, finally giving into his urges to hug and comfort her. He felt like he was giving her the protective attention she had deserved after she was attacked that no one had ever given her. He didn't say anything right away, simply just holding her. When he did speak his voice was soft, speaking gently against her ear. "You're worth so much more than anything they ever told you. None of it is your fault. They were cruel and disgusting to you and no one deserves to live a life like that - especially not you. Knowing what you've gone through and seeing you now, taking care of yourself, so incredibly knowledgeable and skilled... You blow me away. You're amazing and it's not fair how you're punishing yourself for something you never asked for."

He gently nuzzled the top of her head before lifting his head from over her's, leaning back just enough to be able to see her face, bringing a paw up to her cheeks to wipe away tears, feeling his heart skip as their eyes met again. He had felt drawn to her like a magnet from the very first day they met and maybe she had thought that her telling him her past would deter him from wanting to be close to her, but it pretty much did the opposite. Now he only wanted to be closer to her and to do anything that might bring a smile to her face again.

Ezra Adravendi