your heart is a muscle the size of your fist
Tox
His mother took his comment with the intended humour, and offered him a quiet laugh in response. "No more or less than you. You remind me of a brilliant twilight sky, when the mountains and trees have all been tinged a grey-blue, but the sky hosts puffs of cool-toned clouds against its darkening depths as the moon and stars begin to shine through. That's how God made your coat, I'm sure of it." she said, and under that ebon pelage the boy blushed a brilliant crimson. He wasn't accustomed to flattery of any kind, despite the love and affection he received from his family. The follow-up affection in the form of a small caress of her tongue between his ears was met with a soft thumping of his tail against the frost-kissed ground. "I have wondered many times. Around when I was your age, my father- the one who taught me about God- passed away in the great volcano. I felt completely lost. My mother turned to her brother for comfort and I couldn't forgive that. I felt like I had lost both of my parents. My siblings all took their own paths- one even rejecting Abraxas entirely and coming to fight my on the same mountain our father passed within." his mother explained her history with the same soft, reverent tones she often used in sermons. The boy whined lightly in a gesture of sympathy, auds tipping back towards his skull. That all sounded deeply tragic, and he wondered how she had persevered through it all. "Even when deciding to have pups, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but God guides us in ways sometimes even we can't see. It makes us stronger- and you are already plenty strong. You've done no wrong, and feeling your feelings isn't wrong either. God doesn't punish us for feeling, or even wondering. He simply looks at our actions and our intentions." he felt the smooth coiling and uncoiling of her muscles against his shoulder as she moved closer to him, her familiar bulk imposing its warmth wherever their fur mingled. Pontifex rested his lavender and mauve marked cheek against Toxicity's powerful forelimb, letting some of the weight of his skull fall against her upper leg. There was something so soothing about leaning against his mother, who always stood as a pillar of strength despite the turmoil that might surface around her. She always seemed attuned to the correct path, and he trusted her irrevocably. "Tell me, is there anything you see yourself wanting to do? For god or otherwise?" she asked him in a hushed tone. Two toned gaze lifted to meet hers, and he blinked up at her for a moment. He hadn't put too much thought into it yet, but he was quite happy living his life as it was currently. With God, his mother, and his walks through the trees at night observing the late night goings on within the borders. "I want to serve God the way you do, mother. But..." he hesitated. Was there a point in seeking out anything else for his future? Did he need to mention anything aside from his devotion? He took the chance. "I enjoy watching what everyone else does, when I know they can't see me. There is something I like about knowing them without their walls up, and I know it is wrong to hide away, but..." he trailed off, gentle vocals dropping off as he struggled to justify his behaviour. There wasn't an excuse for spying on his packmates while they worked or did their chores, at least not one worthy of bringing up to his mother. A frown creased his features, but he didn't add anything to his statement. "speech" |
