what hurts the most

He had forgotten about her, that realization was a terrible blow to her as the truth revealed itself as the scent of him wafted towards her. His masculine scent filled with one familiar and she had thought gone forever. Sirius appeared from the changing foliage like the grim reaper himself, and he might as well have been. The expression over his face told her everything else she needed to know. The final nail, the last straw, her beginning and her end. A shiver went down her spine and then she felt her insides crumple, the air was knocked from her lungs, and her vision blurred.

She closed her eyes and bowed her head as she tried to catch her breath and slow her thoughts. There were no words for her to speak, anything she said would be a lie. When Zee died she had inadvertently been revived, Sirius had reignited the flame that made her want to live. Now Zee had life again, and so Deathbelle would give up her own. The light was gone, her hope was dead, the extreme high Seer lifted her to had only been there so she might dive to her lowest depth. She had believed for a moment that she was his Empress again, that there was another life, the one she craved for so long. Anything that was too good to be true, was too good to be true.

”Sirius.” She whispered, but had no doubt he could hear her words in the cold and silent air. She looked up to him, desperately as she tried so hard to hold herself together. ”I’m… so happy for you.” She grit her teeth as she said it, not because she didn’t mean it. She never wished for Zee’s death, not ever. It was because of what it meant for her. She was watching her life fall to pieces again. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks, her head hanging low. Her eyes squeezed shut as the wave of emotion hit her, uncertainty and despair clawed at her.