what hurts the most

She was never worth giving anything for, she knew that after a lifetime of being left behind. There was no one in her corner any longer, life was devoid and meaningless now that she had tasted of happiness and knew she would never do so again. Deathbelle resigned to her fate, a painful last few years of her life. She didn’t startle when Sirius grabbed her and shook her thin frame. He all but beat his words against her but none of them slipped through. He didn't have any idea. Maybe he’d seen a clue when he lost Zee but he didn’t really know the hell she descended into.

He released her, if only because he was afraid what else he might do to prove his sense to her. How could she tell him how she really felt? He had his loyal wife to return to tonight, she had nothing but a cold bed. He sentenced her then, after his thoughts were given plenty of time to truly think about the actions he was taking. He was sentencing her to a much more cruel punishment than the swift end she had begged him for. She swallowed the lump in her throat as he commanded her thus.

Deathbelle grit her teeth and closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the impossibility of it. There was nothing she wanted to hold onto. There was no love left to give, no great goal to achieve, no perfect happiness to chase. Everything had been taken from her. She hung her head as she sat there before him, hearing the call he sent forth. Silence fell over her head as the moments passed until the stranger appeared. She didn’t lift her eyes even as he was reminded the favor to be given. Her heart continued to sink as the moments rolled on.

Stay here, a command to the object she had become, a possession no more or less. Devoid of the spark he wanted her to have but at the same time withheld from her. She did as told, and didn’t move as the men moved off to discuss her fate. More tears slipped from her violet gaze as she stared at the ground under her mismatched paws.

Then they returned, hushed voices directed at her. Still her gaze remained downcast as Ulric introduced himself and offered his title. So this was it, to be sent away with a man she did not know, to a land she was unfamiliar with until Sirius deemed her old enough to move on. ”As you command.” She finally spoke, her gaze lifting for the first time since Ulric’s arrival. All she could see in the future was the lingering ache that filled her. What else could life put her through? Her heart was shriveled, dried, and shattered throughout the years of abuse. There wasn’t much left to give.

She would give it to Ulric as Sirius commanded her, to live a world away. Deathbelle looked back up to Sirius, she could see the hope in his features but there was none in her eyes. She wondered if this would be the last time she laid eyes on her Warlord. She felt little now, she had cried the last of her feelings away. She was nothing but a shell of the great woman Sirius saw in her. Deathbelle lifted herself to her paws and took to Ulric's side, her eyes lingering on Seer’s features. ”Fare well, Sirius.” She whispered as her head lowered again and she accepted his rule over her.