A Day at a time

It was kind of nice that she didn't press really, while somewhere deep down Emile was desperate to unload all his guilt and anger and fear and deep deep grief so that he could stop having to carry it... He wasn't really ready to do that, and certainly not with a wolf whom he hardly knew... Though maybe that was easier than the alternative, even as little as he wanted to have to face everything he'd been pushing down for seasons he really did not want to have to face his family, his father especially. He already knew they'd be disappointed with him... More than that, what if they thought he was as pathetic as he felt? As much as some part of him blamed his father for his struggles he also feared that his father would judge him harshly and validate all the worst fears the boy clung to... That everyone kept leaving without saying goodbye because of him, something inside of him that made him unlovable, someone no one cared about enough to even let him know they were leaving. Somehow inherently worthy of abandonment. Logically he knew his father would never but logic had little place in his life right now and all he could feel was the emptiness each and every wolf that left, left in him. He was hardly a whole wolf, just the tattered remains of all everyone had taken from him.

Lúta thanked him, explaining that every tickle seemed to set her off and he nodded, gently offering the woman the herbs he'd brought, his voice tentative as he spoke: "Ifffff- ... There's anyth-th-th-thing you need I could go go go go get it forrrrr you?" He glanced at his paws. "I don'ttttt know many use-use-use-usefull ones yet though, so maaaaaaybe not..." Gods why was he like this, unable to even offer to help a pack member who might need it because he was filled with so much doubt.

WC: 326 (1594/1500)

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