Big God

Though this was her safe space, Thalia couldn't help but feel uneasy that the slightest thing said or done might cause whatever relationship to unravel. They'd talked some about her God and her family's faith, but less so about her faith. Somehow that felt more private, and all at once she felt immensely vulnerable in a way she hadn't felt before. Growing used to physical proximity with Theory had been a test of it's own - but this? This was something completely different, something she worried she'd never get used to. She wished suddenly that she'd spent more time with her father and that she'd picked his brain about her mother. Had she truly been a believer, or had she merely tolerated the Abraxas faith? Had that been a point of contention between them?

"Benevolent isn't the right word for it. He can be an impatient God, and He can be a cruel God when He deems it just, but... what He lacks in warmth he makes up for in love and devotion to us." He was merciless and unforgiving when his followers opposed him, she knew that as much. She believed that part of why Eligos had shifted his vision when creating Aerie. They couldn't make the mistakes that their ancestors had, no again, lest all of Boreas and Auster suffer His wrath. She'd seen it once before and she didn't doubt His next sign would be something more devastating. But He had spared them thus far and she had to believe that was an act done out of love, not mere chance. Thalia paused for a second and shifted where she sat, leaning slightly against Theory, as if contact alone would help stabilize her ever-tumultuous thoughts.

"Some of the Abraxas before us interpreted His word a bit differently than my immediate family does. I've heard stories of my family taking what they thought was theirs by force, and needlessly maiming and killing whoever crossed them. The Abraxas of new - we are different - and I don't believe that what they did was necessary." She wasn't sure calling it wrong was correct. The Abraxas were owed the world and more, but achieving that was never as easy as simply taking it. Nonbelievers had dethroned her very own God - sheer force of will wouldn't be enough for the Abraxas to grow their power, if they wanted anything permanent. History had showed as much. They had to be meticulous and careful, they had to plan instead of rush into things without thinking.

"He saved my mother from death, I've been told, you know. My father found her in a storm. He'd found her completely broken, left to die in the storm, and he nursed her back to health. He always told me God brought her to him. There's no other way she could've lived," she explained carefully. "And I saw how much my parents loved each other. I can't imagine my God has no room for love if He brought about something like they had." Thalia cleared her throat, feeling suddenly lightheaded. She fixed her eyes on the ground before her before she tilted her head toward Theory. "I.. have to think He loves if he's allowed me to find you," she admitted carefully. She'd never found a wolf that terrified her as much as Theory did; she had faith her God would protect her from anything but when it came to love, to this, she felt completely and utterly defenseless, and that was why she had to believe He was responsible for it.