Life on a Fishing Line

He heard Tamsyn release a heavy sigh, though whether it was out o frustration, exhaustion, defeat, or something else entirely he couldn't be sure. She admitted to sending the raven to deliver a message to Sirius in the middle of the night. "I know." That was all he said. Short, simple, but effective in delivering enough emotional impact. He knew. Kane listened while Tamsyn explained what she had done while he had been sat asleep post-coitus, admittedly smirking a little when she described her message as "violent and full of curses" and feeling a little bit of pride that she was able to stand up for herself to the toxic prick—he just wished she'd done it long ago and not when he'd begged her not to. He heard Tamsyn groan and flicked an ear back, listening to the sound of discomfort with a frown on his lips. Disappointed and hurt or not, he wasn't a cold bastard, and he wouldn't ignore his lover when she was in pain. It sounded like the alcohol was wearing off, leaving behind the agonizing hangover in its wake. Tamsyn would be feeling rough for some time, but it was the price to pay for her overindulgence in wine.

Tam admitted that she knew she shouldn't have done what she did and that somehow made him feel worse. It would have been one thing for her to do it drunkenly and be so out of control that she didn't remember it at all. But Tamsyn did remember, so she had been cognizant enough to know she shouldn't have. He didn't say a word throughout her explanation, letting her run herself out while he simply absorbed and considered everything she was saying. Then he felt the soft touch of her paw on his shoulder. He didn't flinch or harden beneath her touch, but nor did he turn to look at her. He simply took it, impassive and unresponsive. She apologized, but it felt qualified. She wasn't sorry for what she'd done, she was sorry he got caught in the middle. She had done what she wanted to do. She'd yelled at Sirius and gotten her pent up emotions out. But she'd done it all against the only request he'd ever asked of her, and she'd tried to do it behind his back knowing that it was against what he'd asked for. That alone hurt, but knowing that she just kept running back to Sirius in some way, shape, or form was the noose around his neck.

Kane felt Tamsyn's paw fall away from his shoulder, and he breathed a tired sigh. "It was the one thing I asked of you, Tam. The only thing, and you couldn't do that. You had to reach out to him, you had to go when he called for you, you had to go sneaking around in the middle of the night behind my back because he was here..." Kane's lips pursed into a fine line, saber fangs tugging at his bottom lip while his muddied mind worked a mile a minute to try to sort out his thoughts and feelings. He stared off into space, no longer seeing the bed or the room or even the stars and moon beyond the windows. But he pointedly did not turn to face her. "Sirius has his claws so deep in you, I don't know if I can ever get you away from him. He's a toxin that you let slip into your blood so readily. It's like... like you're addicted to him. All it took were two words, 'he's here,' and you were gone for an hour in the middle of the night."

Kane's eyes narrowed as he sifted through his mind, trying to find the things he wanted to say. "He's got your life on a fishing line and he knows how to keep reeling you in whenever he wants, and you just keep going. I don't..." He swallowed hard, shaking his head mostly to himself. "I don't know if you're ever going to be able to stop. I think he's too much a part of you to get rid of." Kane hadn't intended to let the hurt in his heart slip into his words, but the way his voice quivered from the upset in his last sentence got away from him. Sirius was like a drug slowly draining the life from Tamsyn, and she was hopelessly addicted. How could he ever hope to contend with ingrained influence like that?

"Kaneonuskatew"