Give me a direction

When Chimera fixed her with a hard glare, her ears flicked and she wondered if coming to him was the right thing to do after all. Between how he had forced himself onto her and the jealousy she felt when he was with Siren it was difficult for her to feel civil toward him, but it always seemed like that feeling was mutual. She settled back onto her haunches uncertainly as he lowered his head back to the ground. As much as she didn't want to put her fate in his paws again, she couldn't continue to live in this limbo and heartache forever. She knew herself well enough to know that being a slave and a servant was all she knew how to be and even if she wasn't a slave she still needed some kind of firm direction and task. She needed that hard view of the world that Chimera had instead of the soft kindness that Siren gave her - even if it hurt.

She picked her words carefully, hesitating for a breath before she forced herself to tell him what was on her mind. "I... wanted to apologize," she said softly, shifting her gaze away from him to look at the ground in front of her paws. "I never asked Siren to stand up for me or to try to take me from you, but I also didn't try to stop her. I... I misunderstood her reasons for doing so. I take the blame for that and I apologize for causing any problems." It was words she hadn't been able to force herself to say before now. It had been easier to be lost in the love Siren was giving her and avoid Chimera entirely instead of trying to mend things between them, but now she didn't have much choice. While she hadn't necessarily misunderstood Siren's reasons, it was easier to say that than to say how deeply she had fallen in love for her mistress and how she had misconstrued the relationship she thought they had. It was easier to just write it off as a misunderstanding and put the blame on herself than to say it was Siren's fault in any way. "I also don't believe I got the chance to properly thank you for helping me when Viper attacked me so... thank you."

She glanced up from the ground, slightly curious to see how he would react. She had gotten the sense that he had disliked her from the day they bought her, but after hearing Aliana's glowing review of him she couldn't tell if something had changed or if it truly was all just directed toward her. Either way, she forced herself to move on before she could lose her courage. "Besides that... I was hoping you could help me make a decision. Siren... Siren has both told me that I am free and also made it very clear that what I wanted for the future and what she desires are very different." That was the only way she knew how to phrase her situation without out right saying that she loved Siren and now knew she would never get that dedication in return. She sighed, looking away again as her ears pinned back with her conflicting emotions and confusion. "I don't know how to be free. I... I don't know if I want to be. I don't know what to do. I don't think I want to leave Siren... I don't know where I'd go even if I did. I just... I just need some direction."

"Dalila"