Shifting Worlds

The look of shock and confusion on Briar's face when he did finally look back at her was actually worse than if he'd seen anger or hatred there. He knew of anger, he knew what that felt like, and it would have been deserved. But this... Watching Briar's expression go through a gamut of emotions as he systematically tore down the perfect world she thought she'd been living in, this was so much worse than if she'd just slapped him with those cat claws out. Instantly, Artorias wished he'd said nothing at all, kept it to himself and buried it down deep where no one could ever find it. Anything was better than hurting Briar. Gods damn it, why had he gone to that fucking island?!

Briar looked away from him for a long moment—and then she looked back up again, and asked a question that made his heart sink into his stomach. Artorias slumped to the ground, haunches crunching into the snow and front legs barely holding himself up as he hung his head in shame. That was the one question he'd been dreading, but of course she was going to ask it. Artorias considered instead offering Briar his sword and begging her to strike him down. That at least would be less painful than this disaster he'd caused. Fuck! How did he even begin to tell her about what had happened since he'd returned home to find Bowen? How their relationship had shifted into something far more intense and taboo.

Artorias didn't look at Briar again, face so hot it felt like his skin was on fire. His ears folded flat to his skull while he gazed down at their paws, raking his claws idly through the snow in a fidgeting behavior. Nervousness was not something Artorias faced often, but sitting here with Briar, knowing the words he'd have to speak, he was outright terrified. After a long moment of reluctant debate, he drew in a deep breath to try and steady his jittery nerves, letting it out in a long, heavy sigh. "It's just one other," he confessed, deciding to start with the easy part of that answer. "It's... It's Bowen." Again, the words died on his tongue. Briar had met Bowen only once, back when they were very small pups. Would she even remember who she was? "She came back. She's... changed. A lot. I didn't intend for this to happen, it just sort of did."

He had no idea what to expect from this point on. Would Briar attack him when she realized he was attracted to his sister? Would she drive him away with teeth and claws? Was this the moment when his relationship ended? He thought back on the love he'd shared with Briar, already kissing those days and their future together goodbye. He could have lied, picked any other wolf to cover his ass, but he could not lie to Briar. He never had, and he never would. Despite what she may think of him now, Artorias still loved her with all his heart and soul. He didn't want to be doing this, but he couldn't let her live a lie with him. This was her chance to get a look at who he really was beneath the surface, a glimpse of the conflict and the dysfunction that lived in his brain and heart. This was her chance to cut and run while she still could and minimize the damage to herself.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered after a moment of long silence. He was still silently praying the ground might open up and swallow him just to escape this torment. "I never meant to put you in this position, Briar. I... If you want to leave, I'd understand. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you believed I was..." Artorias waited again for the next question or for Briar to strike him, whichever came first.

"Artorias Carpathius" | "Corbin" | "Argent"