End of the line
Emile
09-21-2021, 01:44 PM
Ulric watched as the flood gates opened and all the pent up emotion that he had refused to share before finally came rushing out. He didn't interrupt or say anything while Emile spoke, giving him the time to just say everything that had been sitting so heavily on his chest. He understood how Emile felt and maybe that was the hardest part. He didn't want to just say that he understood because he didn't want to diminish or belittle Emile's feelings even if it was on accident. It was the first time his son had actually let him in even in the slightest way so he just remained quiet and listened, his silver gaze lingering on Emile's teary emerald gaze.
When Emile mentioned how he hadn't been there because he was looking for his mother and Everlyse his ears flicked back with a pang of guilt. He knew that there was no solution that would have been good for all of them there. Ezra had resentment and hatred for him for so long because of the fact that he had stopped looking, but Emile resented the fact that he had been gone. He was damned if he did or damned if he didn't. There was also a heavy guilt when he brought up the time he had spent with Aranea. He already knew his time with her had been a mistake on multiple levels, but he was just a man and they had all found their own ways to cope. Either way, he knew what Emile was trying to say and he took full responsibility for the hurt he had caused his children, whether he had meant to or not.
Ulric shifted closer as Emile finished speaking and slipped a foreleg around his son's shoulders, gently pulling him into an embrace. "It's never too late," he insisted, squeezing him lightly. There was a beat of hesitation before he finally sighed and continued on while he continued to hold Emile into his chest. He had never really shared his past with his children because it felt like negativity that didn't need to be instilled into their lives, but he wanted Emile to understand that their pain wasn't all that dissimilar. "When I was young - less than a year old - my father was challenged to the death and lost. I spent nearly four years after that just taking care of my mother because she was too grief stricken to function. I never really understood or processed the grief and resentment that caused and never noticed how much of my life had been stolen from me until after I met your mother. I've spent the last couple years just playing catch up with my own life. In that time my mother passed away on her own without ever getting to meet you and your siblings and your mother and sister have disappeared... among everything else that has happened." Lillith's illness, suddenly having to take over The Hallows as Resin deteriorated, Resin's death, everything that happened with Aranea. No one could relate to the feeling of constantly being beaten down the way he could.
He refocused his gaze on Emile's face, giving him another light squeeze. "I'm telling you all of this just so you know you're not alone. I wasn't always... this," he said with a wave of his paw to himself. "I want you to know you're seen and It's never too late to try again, alright? Even if you don't know what to do right now, just keep trying to put one paw in front of the other. Find something that makes you happy - whether that's healing or crafting or exploring... It doesn't matter. Do something for yourself and we'll figure out the pack portion of things later." He went to release Emile from his hug then, giving him another soft, slightly sad smile. "I understand if I'm not the right wolf to help you. I understand if you can't forgive me... I still haven't forgiven my own father. I just want you to know I'm here for you."
Ulric Adravendi
When Emile mentioned how he hadn't been there because he was looking for his mother and Everlyse his ears flicked back with a pang of guilt. He knew that there was no solution that would have been good for all of them there. Ezra had resentment and hatred for him for so long because of the fact that he had stopped looking, but Emile resented the fact that he had been gone. He was damned if he did or damned if he didn't. There was also a heavy guilt when he brought up the time he had spent with Aranea. He already knew his time with her had been a mistake on multiple levels, but he was just a man and they had all found their own ways to cope. Either way, he knew what Emile was trying to say and he took full responsibility for the hurt he had caused his children, whether he had meant to or not.
Ulric shifted closer as Emile finished speaking and slipped a foreleg around his son's shoulders, gently pulling him into an embrace. "It's never too late," he insisted, squeezing him lightly. There was a beat of hesitation before he finally sighed and continued on while he continued to hold Emile into his chest. He had never really shared his past with his children because it felt like negativity that didn't need to be instilled into their lives, but he wanted Emile to understand that their pain wasn't all that dissimilar. "When I was young - less than a year old - my father was challenged to the death and lost. I spent nearly four years after that just taking care of my mother because she was too grief stricken to function. I never really understood or processed the grief and resentment that caused and never noticed how much of my life had been stolen from me until after I met your mother. I've spent the last couple years just playing catch up with my own life. In that time my mother passed away on her own without ever getting to meet you and your siblings and your mother and sister have disappeared... among everything else that has happened." Lillith's illness, suddenly having to take over The Hallows as Resin deteriorated, Resin's death, everything that happened with Aranea. No one could relate to the feeling of constantly being beaten down the way he could.
He refocused his gaze on Emile's face, giving him another light squeeze. "I'm telling you all of this just so you know you're not alone. I wasn't always... this," he said with a wave of his paw to himself. "I want you to know you're seen and It's never too late to try again, alright? Even if you don't know what to do right now, just keep trying to put one paw in front of the other. Find something that makes you happy - whether that's healing or crafting or exploring... It doesn't matter. Do something for yourself and we'll figure out the pack portion of things later." He went to release Emile from his hug then, giving him another soft, slightly sad smile. "I understand if I'm not the right wolf to help you. I understand if you can't forgive me... I still haven't forgiven my own father. I just want you to know I'm here for you."
