The only language I am fluent in

Eulogy’s sense of direction had always been legendary. For a moment she almost remembered once thinking that if she ever found her mother and brother again she would never stray from the den. It was all crashing down on her, heart caught in her throat, breath coming in short, sharp gasps as she trembled, wishing the earth would just swallow her up. Forgive yourself, her mother had said, but now, with her children manifesting in front of her, one with eyes squeezed shut an the other, so clearly the pillar she should have been able to be for them… Eulogy knew in the marrow of her bones that she could not, would not ever be able to forgive herself for leaving them. After all, she had pulled a disappearing act more than once. Why not save them the pain? Why had she come here?

The mocha tinted woman tried to meet those eyes so like her own, but she flinched instead, unworthy - settling her gaze somewhere between the approaching paws, her whole body leaning away from the confirmation she had sought for so long. Just as she had always suspected, they were better off without her. Her face turned to the side, ears folding back, flinching away from the title. Her mouth opened to answer, and then closed again, her throat hoarse from disuse. Tears stung her eyes and she struggled to not fold in on herself, to stop herself from going belly up in front of her children who had always deserved so much more than she had given them.

Eulogy was paralysed as she willed herself to take that first step towards her sons, but her paws simply wouldn’t move.