What You Mean to Me

In her mind, Aliana had reciprocated Chimera's emotional revelation as best as she knew how. She knew if she truly wanted to, there would be ways to abort the pups she was carrying. It was still early in her pregnancy, and although the outcome would be unpleasant, she could have done so if she really wanted. Ali didn't want to. She still wanted to do everything she could do make Chimera happy. Why? Well... she didn't exactly know why. Aliana didn't know what love was, didn't know what its signs and symptoms were, didn't know what it felt like. She couldn't identify it in herself if it stood before her and slapped her in the face. All she knew was that she wanted to make Chimera happy, to keep him content and maybe see him smile once in a blue moon. It's why she wanted to keep the children—his children. She wanted Chimera to be happy about what they'd created, regardless of how it had happened.

That wasn't what Aliana got. He only responded to say he knew. That was it. Instead of excitement or happiness on her king's face, she saw nothing. Chimera remained stone faced, giving nothing away, except... Ali blinked in surprise, a couple more tears falling from her eyes. He'd tried to look away in time, but her smaller stature allowed her to peek beneath his face and glimpse the flicker of hurt in his pink eye. A quiet gasp of shock left the clouded gray fae. She'd never seen an emotion like pain in Chimera's face before. Even when she'd cared for him when he'd been injured, he'd only seemed frustrated and angry. But pain... Ali had done that to him. Her heart plummeted into her stomach and guilt twisted at her guts. She wanted Chimera to be happy about the children they were going to have, but he wasn't, and he couldn't be. He couldn't be because he'd hurt her to make them. Somehow, even by doing what she thought he wanted she'd screwed things up even worse. Nice going, Aliana...

Ali didn't know what else to say or do. She'd counted on her pregnancy bringing some show of life or love or happiness to Chimera to let her know she was still doing good and making him happy, but that didn't happen. Instead, Chimera only seemed more upset and hurt. It crushed the little fae, absolutely tore her apart inside. Why? What had she done wrong? Hadn't she done everything he wanted, and yet he still looked so guilty. He didn't pull his paw away from hers though, so Ali used it as the bridge between them, squeezing his massive pads with her delicate ones, a quiet whine pleading for him to give her the answers she needed. Just like him, emotions weren't something she'd learned how to process as a slave. You weren't expected to think or feel, only obey. Chimera might have freed her in word and body, but Ali's mind and spirit and emotions were still very much in chains.

Fortunately, the supernatural occurrences going on around them didn't give her a chance to dwell on her own self-loathing and self-deprecation. The stillness of the world felt wrong. Even the sounds of the ocean waves seemed muffled and lifeless. That's what it was; the world felt lifeless. As if they were watching some demented marionette of life happening before their eyes. It made her fur bristle and stand on end, pushing even closer into Chimera. Nothing happened for the longest time... Then the crabs began to move, at first one at a time, and then a swarm of the possessed crustaceans was charging them. Ali yelped and sprung to her paws with Chimera, her only thoughts to protect the children within her. Chimera ordered her to run home, but Aliana shook her head. Doing so would leave Chimera trapped here with these... things. She couldn't explain why, but her aching heart refused to let her do so.

"Not without you!" she replied, trying her best to sound brave, but the words coming out more like a squeak than a roar. "Come on!" She gave a hard nudge to his shoulder with her head to make sure he would follow before turning to run back for the ferry, all too glad to escape this nightmare they'd accidentally discovered. Every so often she would glance back to make sure he had actually come with her, bringing herself to a halt if he didn't and waiting for him, stumbling once or twice on the uneven terrain and leaping over the glowing blue tide pools that looked like portals to another dimension. She arrived at the ferry, waiting on the wooden raft for Chimera to make it safely onboard. She would not leave him behind.

"Aliana"