What You Mean to Me

Once Chimera hit the raft with her both wolves rushed to pull the rope winch that tugged the ferry raft into the swell. Despite being aquatic creatures, Aliana was surprised to see the horde of blue glowing animals stop at the edge of the water, just watching the wolves with an odd and disturbing emptiness in their glowing eyes. Ali tugged the rope with all her might, wanting to help Chimera get them as far away from the nightmare as possible. It wasn't until they were both safely half way across the sound that Aliana let herself flop down onto the deck of the raft, staring in wide-eyed horror at the absolute horde of blue crabs and seals on the beach. Above their heads, blue fireflies danced and swirled around, almost mocking the wolves as they retreated. Then, as if by magic, the fireflies all disappeared... and every single creature they had possessed collapsed dead to the beach like they were puppets that had their strings cut. Ali watched with her mouth agape, staring at the mass of carcasses on the shore, the lapping waves occasionally washing a few crabs away at a time.

Now left alone in the quiet of the night with only the sounds of the sea between them, Ali breathed a heavy sigh. She gazed down at her reflection in the rippling water beneath the raft, taking in her appearance as Chimera filled her every thought. Their relationship had been a rollercoaster ride from the start, filled with ups and downs and loops and turns. He was wild, unpredictable, and yet he was familiar to her and she felt she understood him better than any other wolf—better than even herself. Silently, Ali turned her aquamarine gaze up to Chimera, watching as he pulled the rope for the ferry. He had protected her from the haunted creatures, risked his safety for her as he had done time and time again. He'd hurt her, this was true, but he had also saved her more times than she could count. She lived this life because of him. He had bore his heart and soul to her and she hadn't understood enough to process what she was feeling, and she'd hurt him in turn.

"If it's too painful and you want to end the pregnancy..." Chimera's words repeated in her head over and over again. Aliana didn't understand. She'd thought that he'd wanted children with her, the same way he'd made them with Siren and Viper. But here he was, giving her the choice. He hadn't been in control before, but now he was willing to let her destroy what he wanted if it was what she wanted. He was sacrificing his desires for her own happiness. Aliana couldn't take her eyes off of the monochromatic brute, her heart skipping beats while she watched him. Her throat felt tight with welling emotion, and while her eyes began to mist, Ali rose to her paws and approached Chimera. She lifted a dainty paw and placed it on his side, wordlessly asking him to stop the ferry and look at her. She needed to say some things to him.

"I want to keep the puppies," she started off with, sitting on her haunches and holding his gaze with resolution. "No matter how they were conceived, I... I can't kill them. They're a part of you and a part of me, and I don't want to lose that." Swallowing hard again, Ali dipped her head in shame, staring down at his massive paws. He was so big, so handsome, so powerful... he deserved better than her. "I... I don't know what love is, Chimera. I didn't have any parents to teach me or show me, I never had friends, I was kept isolated and alone. You're the first and only wolf I've ever been close to." She'd told him this before, but he'd been so high on painkillers at the time, she didn't know if he remembered any of her past, or if he'd cared at the time. She was still his slave back then. Oh, how different life had turned out for them. "Sometimes I would hear the other slaves talk about their lives before they were captured. Some had mates. Some had families. They all talked about love, about how they missed it, how it was the best thing in their lives and how it changed them. But I... I knew nothing about what they said. I didn't feel anything and it made me feel broken inside."

Aliana forced herself to look back up at Chimera, fighting back the tears at how inadequate she felt compared to the rest of the world. He was an alpha, a king, and she was a slave—a former slave. She had no purpose in this world beyond someone else's use. She'd been bought as a chew toy for Chimera. Chew toys didn't have feelings. All of this was uncharted territory for her and she felt scared and confused. "The slave matron, she told me once that love is just something you know. That I'd know it when I felt it. I didn't understand, how could I know something if I didn't know what it was like? I still don't know if I understand, but..." Ali took a deep, stuttering breath and held her eyes on Chimera's, begging him to see how much she was trying, hoping he could see into her heart and soul and maybe understand better than she did. In his eyes she'd seen pain when all she wanted to see was happiness. "I know I want you to be happy, Chimera. I know that I want to be the reason for you to smile and feel content. I know that you make me feel safe and you make me feel like I matter and that I'm more than just property. You protect me and you care for me and... and you do things like put yourself in danger and you're willing to give up your children, and... and..."

Her words choked up in her throat. Never before had Aliana said so many words in her life. It felt like she was spilling everything she'd ever thought and felt out at his feet all at once. Ali knew Chimera hated conversation and she fully expected him to rebuke her for being so vocal, but she needed this. He needed to hear this. Tears fell freely from Aliana's eyes now, but she still refused to look away from him. Chimera was her world, her North Star, her everything. "When I'm with you, you make me happy. You make me smile when you say sweet things to me and treat me like the most important wolf in the world. And no matter what you do, I keep coming back, because when you're here, I feel like... like I'm home." She lifted a petite snow-clad paw and rested it over his much larger one in a repeat of the sign of affection he'd given her on the beach. "I know I'm not as pretty as Siren, or as strong as Viper, or as interesting as Dalila, but... if this is what love is supposed to feel like, then... I love you, Chimera. I love you and I'll always love you."

Aliana took another shuddering breath as she waited for Chimera's response, searching his face for anything to let her know how he received her emotional epiphany. Time seemed to stop, the waves gently rocking the ferry in the middle of the sound. Ali held her breath, hearing her heartbeat in her head while she waited for the wolf she loved to say or do something.

"Aliana"