Endless Night

Emile · Updated 04/30/23:

((TW: This first post deals with some heavy themes of suicidal ideation and potentially disordered eating, please thread at your own discretion.))

Night had fallen over the continent, where the rest of the pack was starting to turn to their rooms and dens Emile had other thoughts. The young Adravendi had slid back some in the days since his run-in with Bowen, he stayed in his pile of blankets longer, doing everything in his power to make sure he wouldn't run into her and stayed out later, he hardly slept anyway so what was the point? He was visibly smaller now, though he obviously hadn't shrunk in height his once well-balanced physic was starting to turn towards light, and though she wasn't emaciated yet it wasn't hard to see he might get there sooner rather than later. After all, Emile was hardly eating, only taking from the pack stores when he couldn't handle the hunger anymore, couldn't handle the shaking in his legs...

Tonight he would drag himself beyond the castle, beyond the courtyard out and further than the young man had ever gone before. He didn't have a destination in mind, he hardly had goals in his mind anymore. All he could think about was his guilt and the punishment he deserved. He'd hurt Bowen and for that, he deserved to be punished, he'd disappointed his family, and for that he also deserved punishment. Emile thought about dying a lot as of recently, had wished more nights than not that he would simply close his eyes and never open them again.

As his paws carried him towards the canyon and for a moment he stood at the cliff edge, eyes staring down at the dark water that snaked through the gash in the earth. Intrusive thoughts of his body laying broken at the bottom filled his mind, but the will to do it, to just move his limbs and throw himself off never arrived. Instead, he turned away, putting a safe distance between himself and the cliff edge. The yearling flopped down in the grass and turned his head towards the sky. It had been hard to miss the strangeness that fell over Auster with each setting of the sun, the moon full and round as it had been for the past days despite the fact it should have started waning, the streaks of stars in the sky and the ghostling blue dancing lights of fireflies. It was eerie, it was beautiful. Emile wondered if the world was ending, and was okay with that.

"Speech"

Art by Sigath

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