easy come easy go

*Laeta*

Lae couldn’t help but be caught off guard as Artorias erupted into laughter at her comment about Boreas’ chilly weather. Laughter..was good. It was a good sign. She was doing something properly, or at least, she was becoming more trustworthy to him. Laughter wasn’t a sound the woman had much of a privilege of hearing — loner lands tended to be a bit dry on the humor — but it was clearly enough to let her normally guarded posture relax, if just a little. It would take some time to unwind the constant stress and survival state she had huddled herself in for so long, out of necessity. In a safe place like this, however, such a mechanism could be switched off. She had yet to learn that fully, though.

”I think you came to the right place, Laeta,” The Aegis said, giving the tired woman all the more reason to feel she didn’t do anything wrong, whether in her mannerisms or her words. Confidence — something else she could do well to work on while recuperating. They passed through the gates, and
Lae followed, her gait soft and smooth despite her hardened exterior. The honeysuckle and ivy plants that merged together upon the walls and foliage made the courtyard that much more colorful, and the woman’s eyes drank in the sight, her senses taking in every bit of information visually, auditory, and otherwise as if she had been deprived of said senses. It was just so..new. Refreshing, really. No sooner did they find themselves int he courtyard did Artorias’ avian friend drop something at her feet. Lae glanced up at the bird as he flew up to perch in the nearby magnolia tree. She couldn’t help but stare at everything in her midst, as if she was a pup emerging from its den for the first time. It wasn’t far off from the truth, though, that she was experiencing many new things at one time — including this conversation with a kind wolf. The scent of venison prompted Lae to look down at the raven’s gift; a piece of meat.

Though manners should’ve been considered, Lae could only utter a brief "Thank you," when the leader motioned for her to take it, and snatched the food so quickly it could’ve made a housefly jealous of her reflexes. There was barely any chewing involved, either, but she managed not to choke. Meat was a rarity to her, particularly in Boreas’ winters, and there were constant quarrels and fights with other loners about even the smallest scraps of meat. They’d even try to kill over a few ribs, and she’d watched those scenes unfold time and time again. Hopefully, such harsh winters were behind her, for good. She couldn’t take them anymore, and the memories of her near-death experiences weighed heavily on her mind and soul, which, arguably, were more wounded than her haggard appearance. With the food eaten, and the shade under eath the tree offering the perfect cover and comfort, she perked her ears as the Aegis spoke of the pack’s ideals, rules, and purpose. She did her best to follow along, nodding periodically to let him know she was taking it all in. No bloodshed — she was fine with that. She’d seen enough blood spilt over the smallest of matters for a lifetime, and she need not endure any more than she needed to. Neutrality? Although she never considered her alignment, Lae had to admit she wasn’t one to take sides, and preferred to gather all the facts and observations of a situation before forming any concrete opinion. Even then, she didn’t lean heavily towards good or evil. She supposed that made her “neutral”.

Still, she had little sense of self and who she was; after all, being forced out of her birth pack for something as superficial as her appearance took its psychological toll on her self-image. Not only that, but combined with the survival mode she had been in for the past four years, it didn’t give her much chance to consider something else entirely. Well, now was her chance. As the woman allowed the Aegis to finish his explanation of the pack, she took in the sights of the grand castle and its structures again, feeling she was seeing something new every time she glanced about. She should’ve felt overwhelmed — the sheer amount of new plants, animals, weather, and scents would’ve made her younger self almost spiral in sheer chaos. Somehow, despite her guarded outlook and uncertainty, the years of being a loner allowed her grip on a need for control to soften. She couldn’t control everything, and that was okay. Still, it was all so new, and this decision of hers was a life-changing one.

So, when the leader popped the question, she should’ve gone deep into her head again. Perhaps consulting with her old self, the woman who was mentally still huddled in the tundra, alone and afraid. Or maybe the child who didn’t understand why her mother ignored her orher pack despised her. Or maybe it was this beginning-of-something-new Laeta, the one who decided she’d had enough of living an uncertain, aimless life, chained down by her trauma. She was more than that. She could be more than that.

” Does this still sound like somewhere you would like to be a part of, Laeta?”

The question echoed in her mind. Are you sure? The self-doubt echoed back. The instinct inside her threatened to bubble up again, the part that tried and failed to protect her from more danger, more sorrow, more pain. Still taking in the soft surroundings with a neutral expression, but eyes bright, she felt she had made up her mind since the time the young Aegis had introduced himself. It was at that time, no, before that, that she had enough of wandering. Enough of feeling like a burden on her own shoulders. The self-pity. The lonely nights when the stars were her only companions for miles around.

It was time to change. For the better.

Laeta tore herself away from the luscious view, yet again, to face the leader. Though her face was hallowed, and mind still broken and in shambles, she could at least offer the phrase that would pivot her life on an entirely different, and better path.

"Yes. This place feels right to me."

"Speech"

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