-1 “There was a gap of empty space between them of about half a dozen feet or so.” There was no mention of this specific distance in pre-fight posts so it should have been attempted or OOC agreed upon with your opponent.
-1 “...quick hop that put about a foot or two of distance between them...” You can't assume Sparrow hasn't moved.
-1 “She jumped in toward Sparrow’s right side...” Same as above
General
-2 The use of accessories in T1 fights is not allowed so you lose a point for each one (scaled armor, bladed bracers) mentioned.
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 “...attempted to ram her head into Sparrow’s ribs...” The rib cage is big enough that this attack needs a few more specifics.
Positioning
-1 “...as she went to go past Sparrow’s shoulder...” By how much? What's the hoped for positioning here? Shoulder to shoulder? Neck to shoulder?
-1 companions only get one attack per fight and every 'touch' they make counts as an attack. 'Grab' and 'bite' makes two.
9/10 for Clarity:
Positioning
-1 “Sparrow moved to mirror her.” I would have liked to see a bit more detail here. How is she mirroring her? In steps? Positioning? Both?
6/10 for Attacks:
+2 for bite (Sparrow)
+2 for crushing stomp/clawing
+2 for bite (Friar/companion)
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for flattened ears
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for tail up for balance
+1 for defensive stance
+1 for scruff bunched
10/10 for Injuries:
First round; no deductions
Cuts and bruising to shoulder/chest
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Fighter
+6 Master Navigator
5/5 for Health:
No deductions
Sparrow’s round one total: 55/62
ROUND TWO
Manea:
WRITING
8/10 for Power Play:
If/Than Statements
-1 “...before going to place it back onto the ground again...” You're assuming her paw doesn't get intercepted somewhere between attempting to claw and attempting to set it down.
General
-1 “...aiming to peck and claw at the monkey to chase it off.” Companions only get one attack per fight and every 'touch' they make counts as an attack. 'Peck' and 'claw' makes two.
6/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 Which raven attacked Sparrow's companion?
-1 “...aiming to peck and claw at the monkey to chase it off.” What kind of damage is it hoping to do? Where exactly is it attacking on the monkey?
-1 Where on Sparrow's chest is Manea's swipe aimed?
Damage
-1 “...the minor lacerations Sparrow's companion left on her leg.” Where on her leg? Did Manea's movements change the positioning any or was the companion 100% successful?
5/10 for Attacks:
+1 for companion attack (pecking and clawing)
+2 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
+1 for clawing
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for shoulders rolled
+1 for scruff bunched
+1 for defensive stance
+1 for ears pinned
+1 for eyes narrowed
6/10 for Injuries:
-1 for moderate lacerations to scruff
-1 for bruised toes
-1 for moderate scratches to toes (severity assigned by judge)
-1 minor lacerations to left hind leg
Status
10/12 for Experience:
+4 Advanced Fighter
+6 Master Hunter
4/5 for Health:
-1 for being a loner
Manea’s round two total: 44/62
Sparrow:
WRITING
10/10 for Power Play:
No deductions
9/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 for the foreleg throw. I'm having trouble following what's happening here. Is Sparrow trying to pin Manea by leaning into a foreleg laid over her neck or is she pushing her weight down onto her paw? The difference determines how useful her claws are here.
-1 following that train of thought, where are her claws supposed to be doing damage? The trapezius muscle covers a lot of area.
5/10 for Attacks:
+1 for upward punch
+2 for pin/grip with claws
+2 for bite
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for flattened ears
+1 for scruff bunched
+1 for tail up
+1 for hackles raised
+1 for eyes narrowed
9/10 for Injuries:
-1 for moderate lacerations to chest
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Fighter
+6 Master Navigator
5/5 for Health:
No deductions
Sparrow’s round two total: 55/62
ROUND THREE
Manea:
WRITING
7/10 for Power Play:
General
-2 for using the dagger. Accessories are not allowed in T1 fights.
-1 for the second raven's multiple attacks. Same as the first one: companions only get one attack per fight and every 'touch' they make counts as an attack. 'Claw' and 'peck' makes two.
7/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 for lack of specificity in the companion's attack. What kind of damage is it hoping to do? Where exactly on her face does it want its claws and beak to land?
Damage
-1 did Sparrow's successful 'punch' do any damage?
-1 “She winced when Sparrow's feline claws hooked into the thicker skin of her scruff...” Did they do any damage?
3/10 for Attacks:
+2 for stab
+1 for the companion's attacks
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for defensive stance
+1 for tensed muscles
+1 for ears flattened
+1 for eyes narrowed
+1 for tail up for balance
7/10 for Injuries:
-1 for light bruising to chin (damage assigned by judge)
-1 for minor scratches to back of neck from claws (damage assigned by judge)
-1 for moderate lacerations to scruff from bite
Status
10/12 for Experience:
+4 Advanced Fighter
+6 Master Hunter
4/5 for Health:
-1 for being a loner
Manea’s round three total: 43/62
Sparrow:
WRITING
9/10 for Power Play:
Attempts
-1 “...just above where her (Sparrow's) foreleg rested in order to control better the woman's movement.” You're assuming her foreleg is still there.
8/10 for Clarity:
Attacks
-1 “Her free right foreleg sought to claw and hook around Manea's left foreleg...” Claw and then hook?
Damage
-1 Did the bird do any damage at all?
5/10 for Attacks:
+2 for pin/grip with claws
+2 for bite
+1 for leg swipe
5/5 for Defenses:
+1 for tucked tail
+1 for defensive stance
+1 for pinned ears
+1 for narrowed eyes
+1 for raised hackles
7/10 for Injuries:
-2 for moderate stab wound to shoulder
-1 for minor scratches and pockmarks to both cheeks and forehead (damage assigned by judge)
Status
12/12 for Experience:
+6 Master Fighter
+6 Master Navigator
5/5 for Health:
No deductions
Sparrow’s round three total: 51/62
Totals:
Manea: 131/186 Sparrow: 161/186
And the winner is...
SPARROW! Manea must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Sparrow has won control of the disbanded pack Incendium.
Damage:
Both:
All scratches, pokes, bruises and light lacerations will heal within 3 ooc days
All moderate lacerations will heal in 1 ooc week
All moderate stab wounds will heal in 2 ooc weeks
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For Shelby: In reading through your posts I could tell you tried to be fair in Manea's responses and I really appreciate that effort! Even though this is a loss for you this was a good fight and you did well. I think you missed out on a lot of points by keeping your attacks simple so in the future I would suggest throwing in more combos. All in all, what I gathered from your posts that you're just a bit rusty. You know how this works but I think things have changed since you were a judge. Going forward remember that using accessories is not allowed in T1s, attack combos are big earners, and be specific in your character's actions and intentions but mindful of your opponent's autonomy.
For Iko: You've been in enough fights that you know what you're doing and it shows in your posts. I can see past judgements in your choice of wording and use of phrases. Clearly, you did very well! My only suggestion for you is that your clarity needs a little refining. A reoccurring theme I ran across is that while all the right details were there, they tended to crop up in the wrong order leading me to reread passages. That really is my only suggestion for you!
Both: I can't stress this enough: this was a good fight! You both have reasons to be proud here. This was an easy read and in fights where things can get very messy that is a rare thing.
