Never thought I'd find you here

Al was getting closer and Kichi felt his heart constricting at the torn emotions.  Talking about the dead and especially Lurid wasn’t helping.  His muscles quivered as the hate and pain he got used to rolled in him but something worse was there.  He felt that horrible desire to step into Al again and even worse he wanted to cry, to let out the tension and accept his friend was back.  He understood Al was hurt also but for so long that hadn’t mattered.  All Kichi could handle was his own pain of being hurt

Kichi gave a sharp shake of his head at the question, “It doesn’t matter, it never did,” the words cut out.  “I went south, I went north.  I traveled up and down Boreas.” He had tried to find closure, to find something to satisfy him or to entertain him.  Kichi had never found anything to satisfy. “Where,” a pause, “were you all this time?” He had once hoped to find Alastor but had given up at some point.

Kichi squeezed his eyes shut as he fought an angry urge to blame Al for his inability to find him.  He wanted to blame Al for having been alone and hurting.  Logic said it wasn’t his fault, emotions said somehow Al should have just been there regardless. “You know, I was a stupid kid,” Kichi barked out a sick laugh, “it took a while to accept it.” To accept no one was coming.  Well, Al wasn’t going to answer Kichi’s question unless Kichi shut up.  He sat down, burying down the words of weakness, waiting to hear what Al had done.

The little deer went to Kichi, bumped its head against the wolf before turning its back to him and started grazing.  Torch was there for Kichi but right now the deer was aware he wasn’t what the boy needed, or wanted.

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