Never thought I'd find you here

Boreas was a big place.  Kichi had certainly learned that well enough.  Two wolves both wanting to find each other and it brought the question of how close had they ever passed?  Surely if they had been near they would have noticed.  Kichi believed Al but did he want to believe him?  It all went to that stone wall that kept out emotions that helped Kichi move on and looking at Al, listening to his words the wall was cracking.  It would be better to not believe, to lie to himself.  Al had looked for them, Al had wanted to find him.  

Al had a new mate, a new family.  Did he have kids?  If he’d been with her for a while Kichi assumed he did or was going to.  Kichi felt bitter jealousy well in his stomach that they might have what he was denied.  What was the chance Alastor would have room in his life for Kichi if he had a true family now?  Not that Kichi wanted to live with someone again.  Even if he did, he really didn’t.  

Kichi jerked his head a bit in surprise at Alastor’s intense response to the comment on having been an idiot.  Did being a child make up for being an idiot when it counted like that?  A whispered venomous voice in his mind told him to leave.  Lurid didn’t want him around Alastor.  Why?  What was her problem?  

Al had been different than Lurid in a way that had often drawn the boy towards Alastor when he’d wanted to play or help hunting.  It was a guy thing, a thing to do with a friend.  Standing here as an adult, or equal terms had him consider the difference between the Lurid in his mind and the black wolf still alive near him.  “Al,” time for a complete change of topic, “did she really even love me?” All she wanted was for Kichi to be hers and not listen to his mom, she wanted him away from Al who was still alive?  “Why would she want me to leave now?” The tone was curious with no depth of fear or hope in it.  His need for love from that woman was a thing of the past.  Now he just wanted the truth.  Even now that she was dead she wanted to control him, why?

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