A ghost told me to meet you

As Rudy speaks of his sister and how she is healer, Fern shakes her head. There has been a deep-seated urge to run away from any healer she has seen since her mother’s passing. When she tries to convince Rudy to leave her and go home, she hears him huff out about a joke. Joke? It wasn’t joke, she had meant it whole heartedly. If there was a safe place with good wolfs to go to, Fern would have already been leaving, if she had been in his place.

His words reach her ears as she tries to slowly walk away, Fern’s rippling, twitching muscles finally starting to relax as the feeling of bugs under her skin lessens. Does he not understand how she is trying to give him an out? Rudy could walk away right now, forget he ever saw her and Fern would gladly sink back into obscurity. When he says she is nice, Fern’s head shoots up to look at him with distrusting eyes. As he states his name and rank, the gray girl lowers her head to focus back on the task of walking only to shoot back up at his next words.

Her mind reels from his question, not understanding why someone she had just met was willing to carry her. Fern’s eyes search his face, trying to figure out if he is mocking or belittling her. Was Rudy really just this nice? Why wouldn’t he leave her to suffer alone? Stopping in her tracks to look more fully at Rudy, Fern finally says, “Rudy, you don’t know if I really am nice. We have known each other for less than an hour! I could be putting on a façade for all you know!” Why was she mad at him for being so kind?

Anger clutches at her chest and straggles her heart as she gets ready to berate him for trusting so easily. Just as she gets ready to unleash her rage, the light shifts and she sees her mother Meadow standing in Rudy’s spot. Her mother’s bright, innocent smile and friendly nature shinning at her. For that moment, Fern is a pup again, laughing with her mother, learning about herbs and animals. A memory floats out of the ether at her of Meadow singing her to sleep after another pup had been mean to her. The words she spoken while holding the small, crying Fern echoes in her ears, ‘There are bad wolves and there are good wolves. Today you met a bad one. But you will meet so many who are kind and loving’.

Fern’s eyes widen in surprise and she feels tears prick the back of her eyes. The memories flood her, drown her and buoy her. She longs to reach out and hug her mother once more when, with a blink of her eyes, Meadow vanishes and Rudy is standing back in his spot. A beat passes, then two as Fern stands frozen staring at Rudy with wide, sad eyes. She feels hallow, a shell of who her mother thought she would be. With a shake of her head, the unshed tears slip down her cheeks and disappear into the fur.

Another heavy sigh passes her lips as Fern folds her back legs and lets her trembling body lower itself to the ground. This is all too much. The fireflies, her mother… the kindness. Looking at Rudy with sorrowful eyes, Fern tells him, “I don’t deserve your kindness Rudyard. There is so much you do not know about me. You should not place your trust in others so easily.” Fern’s energy is quickly waning as the last of the twitching subsides, leaving in its wake, a bone deep exhaustion. Muscles are slackening and she hears the calls of the dream realm.

Heavy eyes blink away the sleep as she looks tiredly at Rudy. Seeing his determination and loyalty, Fern huffs another sigh. “I do not deserve your loyalty, Rudy. I do not deserve your kindness. However, if you are so insistent, I will join you at the Hallows.” Sleep filled eyes droop as the weight of the night events take hold. With a great effort, Fern reopens her eyelids and says, “I just need to sleep a little. I will meet you there tomorrow.”

Laying her head on the ground, Fern hopes he will leave her to sleep off the exhaustion. When she wakes up, she will entertain the idea of keeping her word. For now, her eyelids start to their slow march down.