Broken Soul, Reaching Out

Rudy kept a small secretive smile to himself as she tried to hide the laughter, he kept looking ahead as they moved so it wasn’t likely she’d catch it.  There were things he had screwed up at, plenty of them but it didn’t stop confidence in his instincts or ability to get someone to trust his logic eventually.  It may not always work but, it did often enough.  

The smile slipped at her nickname ‘fly boy.’  No, oh no.  Rudy could dump a mountain of rocks overall fireflies to get his revenge.  Admittedly he had no plans to use his teeth again but there were other ways to kill those creepy things.  She was just starting to open up again so was he going to shoot her down now?  Maybe it would just be a one-time thing.  There was no way he wanted to be known by ‘fly boy’ the rest of his life.

Rudy finally turned his head to look at her, lopsided grin in place at the ‘this time’ in regards to his being right.  “This time? Fair enough.  You haven’t known me long enough.  You’ll see a pattern soon.  I won’t say it's not sometimes a close call here and there but they work.” Technically they worked when he got clobbered by the bear but his body’s movements weren’t quick enough to do what his instincts had screamed about.  Oh well.

His eyes widened as she said the relationship to Resin.  “So, you’re related to mom,” his voice soft as he considered the implications.  Of course, he had recently learned there was also a son of Resin out there, and that beast needed to be killed.  Fern was nothing like that though, she was nice and no matter how she felt about following instincts Rudy knew it.

Then she called Meadow an idiot and Rudy stopped walking.  He remembered how his mom had died, remembered the suicidal fight she’d gotten into, and how she had found a way to end her life with pride.  The injuries she had suffered were better than the terrible damage to her soul that surely was there as she’d lost her mind.  She was gone, the empty hollow sensation he remembered was back for the moment.  “Never,” he whispered softly, eyes cast to the ground, “never,” then he met her gaze, “call your mom an idiot.” There was passion in the words.  “She’s dead, you just said that.”

Rudy felt anger burning in him as he imagined mom’s dead body lying on the ground when it was all gone.  “She was your mom.  Whether she made a mistake or not.  It clearly hurt you that she died.” She wouldn’t have been hesitant to talk about it if she hadn’t been hurt by it.  Certainly, Rudy felt the pain of his own memories coming back.  “Whatever she did, even if it was wrong.” Rudy’s eyes looked up at her with deep sadness, “If we can never see our mothers again, we can at least remember what we loved them for.” Rudy’s eyes squinted up some, “It hurts doesn’t it?  Thinking of her like that?” Rudy hurt, he hurt for himself and he hurt for the pain he imagined she was in.  Not that he could truly know what she felt but could only imagine it by how it had felt for him.  

Rudyard Carpathius