Broken Soul, Reaching Out
Rudy
Knight
Bloodletter
10-29-2021, 09:55 PM
Fern’s body shakes with the pent-up emotions and unshed tears. The anger is met with calm words and soothing tones as Rudy speaks to her. His apology reaches an olive branch out to the broken girl and she stares dumbly at it. No one had cared so much about her before. No one had stayed with her long enough to try and find out about her story. Since the day Meadow died, Fern’s life had become transient and nothing lasted for long.
Guilt built in her chest as Rudy continued to talk and she could not meet his eyes. For now, she kept her head lowered and tried to ride out the waves of emotions that crashed into her. Fern stood at a precipice between her old life and a new one. If she retreated, everything would remain the same but at least it would be familiar. Before her a yawning expanse of unknown beckoned her with promises of uncertainty. She was scared to jump, scared that she might fall and die. But maybe… just maybe… she could fly.
Raising her head, Fern’s hurt filled aqua gaze meets soft golden yellow kindness. Every brick and stone she had built between her and the world cracks and falls as she allows the tears to finally fall. Her shaky voice says, “I am sorry Rudy. I don’t mean to be so...” she gestures at herself, “me. I am hurting and I do miss her. Mom use to tell me stories of her and Resin’s adventures to put me sleep.”
A watery smile appears as she sniffs and lets a choked laugh escape before continuing, “As I grew, I wished, time and time again, that Resin had been my mother. Meadow loved her herbs and helping others. But me? I had no talent or wish to learn her trade. I wanted to go out on adventures like Resin! Be brave, like Resin!” Another emotion filled laugh escapes as she shakes her head. Her chest shutters, trying to keep the sobs inside so she does not appear so weak.
Her back legs fold and Fern sits heavily on the ground. Shoulders slump as she whispers, “I watched her die you know. I watched as she was ripped apart in front of me. All I could think was, ‘she isn’t brave’.” She allows a sob to escape and tries to turn away from Rudy. All she wants to do is hide. Hide her shame and anger. Hide her weakness and stupidity. Fern tries to hide her true self from Rudy… and fails.
Guilt built in her chest as Rudy continued to talk and she could not meet his eyes. For now, she kept her head lowered and tried to ride out the waves of emotions that crashed into her. Fern stood at a precipice between her old life and a new one. If she retreated, everything would remain the same but at least it would be familiar. Before her a yawning expanse of unknown beckoned her with promises of uncertainty. She was scared to jump, scared that she might fall and die. But maybe… just maybe… she could fly.
Raising her head, Fern’s hurt filled aqua gaze meets soft golden yellow kindness. Every brick and stone she had built between her and the world cracks and falls as she allows the tears to finally fall. Her shaky voice says, “I am sorry Rudy. I don’t mean to be so...” she gestures at herself, “me. I am hurting and I do miss her. Mom use to tell me stories of her and Resin’s adventures to put me sleep.”
A watery smile appears as she sniffs and lets a choked laugh escape before continuing, “As I grew, I wished, time and time again, that Resin had been my mother. Meadow loved her herbs and helping others. But me? I had no talent or wish to learn her trade. I wanted to go out on adventures like Resin! Be brave, like Resin!” Another emotion filled laugh escapes as she shakes her head. Her chest shutters, trying to keep the sobs inside so she does not appear so weak.
Her back legs fold and Fern sits heavily on the ground. Shoulders slump as she whispers, “I watched her die you know. I watched as she was ripped apart in front of me. All I could think was, ‘she isn’t brave’.” She allows a sob to escape and tries to turn away from Rudy. All she wants to do is hide. Hide her shame and anger. Hide her weakness and stupidity. Fern tries to hide her true self from Rudy… and fails.