polar bear swim

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

Oh no.

When Fortune woke that morning, or at a time that she thought was morning but was actually in the middle of the night, she knew something was wrong immediately. She couldn’t see a thing and now matter how much she pawed and wiped at her face, ears, eyes, everything it just wouldn’t stop. It felt like something thick and wet seeping from every orifice, even her nostrils. She didn’t even want to investigate anywhere else she might be leaking from. Thankfully it didn’t cross her mind, yet anyway.

Blindly she stumbled out of her den, already sobbing. Although she could feel the tears welling in her eyes and streaming down her face, it hardly did anything to wash away whatever was blinding her and it only made her more upset and even more frantic than she was already acting. Her paws carried her blindly through the pack lands, her voice crying out as she sobbed and ran into every possible tree she could on her blind adventure. She didn’t even know which was she was going or where she would end up. Fortune was so disoriented, that she didn’t even know she was at the hot springs until it was too late.

Already covered in scrapes, bruises, scratches, and a little bit of everything from her jaunt through Boreas. Tears and goo streamed down her face in never ending waves, stinging the places where her face had been cut. Amongst the tears, glowing blue goo, and sticks and leaves, Fortune had a bit of blood streaked from the cuts and scratches.

She was frantic, stopping often to paw wildly at her face to remove whatever was blinding her, but each time it didn’t work. The longer it went on, the worse she got. Her mind was racing, unable to escape the infinite darkness that she was trapped in. Had she always been afraid of the dark? She didn’t know,  but it seemed so familiar now. The fear anyway. The longer she was trapped inside the darkness, the worse it got. The worse it got, the faster she ran. The faster she ran, the further she got away from Habari.

If there was anything she was more afraid of than the dark, it was water.

Nearly dying the last time she’d fallen in, the darkness surrounding her only added to the fear of drowning again. When she felt nothing underneath her paws, the fear intensified as she splashed and sank into the warm water of the hot springs. She flailed, splashing her limbs around as she screamed through her sobs, blind and unable to find anything to grab onto.

Her flailing lasted for what seemed like hours until she latched onto the edge of the pool she’d fallen into and she clung to it, scraping her claws into the stones and dirt trying to pull herself free from the water. If only it would free her from the darkness as well.

Once freed from the water, Fortune collapsed. Her body was weak and tired from running, and even more so by the attempt at swimming. She pulled her limbs up underneath her small body, her sobs now weak. Blue goop still poured from her eyes in tandem with her tears, neither seeming to have an end. She shivered in the cool winter air, the warm water having only frozen her small body even more once she freed herself from its grasp and she hit the cold air.

Now lost, exhausted, freezing, and blind, Fortune holed herself up and sobbed quietly to herself, alone. Was this her life now? Forced into a word where she would ooze forever? What would her mother think? Recluse? All of Habari?

And what about Arne?

Her new friend would likely run away screaming in fright if he saw her right now. The thought of that alone made her sob deeper, burying her face and misfortune into her gloved paws and smearing the evidence all over herself. With each and every sob she would seem to curl in tighter on herself, backing herself up almost entirely into a rock structure covered with the mushrooms and crystals that caused all of this. She laid there like that for what seemed like hours, her fur drying on the surface but remaining drenched underneath. Her body shook with shivers, but her sobbing eventually slowed. Intrusive thoughts were finding their way into her vulnerable mind, reminding her of just how easy it would be to end it all. The oozing. The fear of what her friends and family would think of her. What a disgrace she would be to them. No one would like her anymore. No one would want to be around her. What if she could infect others? They'd probably abandon her, leave her out alone. She'd be better off taking control and ending it now on her own terms.

With a swallow and a sniffle, Fortune rose to her paws slowly. With the ooze pouring from her eyes at an alarming rate of speed, she turned her head towards the water despite being unable to see it. Her movements seemed to be not her own, as if she were sleep walking or controlled by an outside force. As she stared into the water that she was terrified of moments ago, the thoughts were getting louder, more demanding now instead of just suggestions. Telling her to do it instead of making it sound like her idea. It was confusing to the girl, who still felt a great need to get away from the waters edge that she crept closer to in her time standing. She couldn't, though, no matter how hard she tried to move her legs, the voices in her head were shouting at her to jump, to end all of it. The oozing. The voices. The fear and the shame she would feel when those she cared about abandoned her after everything she went through to get them back.


"Fortune Speech!"
code © skelle 2021