It Didn't Matter At All
Indigo
Scout
11-01-2021, 06:48 PM
Duchess could barely see that Indigo was struggling through her own realizations and sorrows but also with him working to do everything he could for the babies. It was extremely hard, harder than she could have ever imagined. Somehow she felt like Indigo could feel how she felt, emotionally. As the first pup had finally arrived and there wasn't a single sound, a single movement from the tiny little baby Indigo had placed by her stomach, she couldn't bring herself up to look at it. After all of the pain and struggle and knowing without having to look that this one hadn't made it, she immediately lost hope for the others. But she had already lost it well before Indigo started working with her.
Afterwards she had taken a few deep breaths from the near traumatic labor. Indigo had placed all three of the pups side by side along her stomach, and she finally put it in herself to pull herself up to look at them. Now that it was over. She was already a mess, but she had been able to get through the delivery by shutting out the thoughts of how she would be here empty and motherless. But now she had to open up her heart of the loss of her and Indigo's children. Of her children.
Her body gently curled around them, careful as if touching them could hurt them anymore. Her head gently laid around them too as she shut her eyes tight and hoped everything she was feeling would just wash away over her. Somehow she felt like it was her fault as impossible as that might have been. Maybe she wasn't active enough, maybe she worked too hard, something in her blamed herself not that she could open her mouth to say it. Her eyes struggled to stay open through burning tears as she finally looked up to Indigo, seeing his own dark, broken expressions. His loss was just as big as her own, and it was some sort of clarity to her seeing him this way. While still curled around the dead babies, her paw reached up to try and grab around his own leg, her eyes almost pleading with him to hold her, to hold them. It seemed only moments from now they wouldn't be here any more, buried under the darkened moon.
"Duchess"
Afterwards she had taken a few deep breaths from the near traumatic labor. Indigo had placed all three of the pups side by side along her stomach, and she finally put it in herself to pull herself up to look at them. Now that it was over. She was already a mess, but she had been able to get through the delivery by shutting out the thoughts of how she would be here empty and motherless. But now she had to open up her heart of the loss of her and Indigo's children. Of her children.
Her body gently curled around them, careful as if touching them could hurt them anymore. Her head gently laid around them too as she shut her eyes tight and hoped everything she was feeling would just wash away over her. Somehow she felt like it was her fault as impossible as that might have been. Maybe she wasn't active enough, maybe she worked too hard, something in her blamed herself not that she could open her mouth to say it. Her eyes struggled to stay open through burning tears as she finally looked up to Indigo, seeing his own dark, broken expressions. His loss was just as big as her own, and it was some sort of clarity to her seeing him this way. While still curled around the dead babies, her paw reached up to try and grab around his own leg, her eyes almost pleading with him to hold her, to hold them. It seemed only moments from now they wouldn't be here any more, buried under the darkened moon.
