Share the pain

Rudy had always attempted to be positive, even at the worst of times.  He had always wanted to help others manage whatever emotional burdens they held so they could truly recover from any inner trauma faced.  Right this moment he didn’t give a damn about anyone except himself.  The young man was missing his tail, only a bandage where it had been to let the open wound heal.  A paw was likewise bandaged and a last set of bandages wrapped his neck.  As if this wasn’t bad enough the ooze had infected him as well.  From the boy's ears, nose, and mouth leaked the ooze.  Most of the time Rudy didn’t care.  For the first day, he had just been stuck on hating himself for failing, hating Oxx for what he had done and what he wanted to do, and desperately wishing the pain to go away or even diminish.

Lately, a voice had come to his mind to offer him a twisted version of help.  It offered him an idea no one else had, one that normally Rudy would reject as being against his character.  Right now it helped give him something to cling onto.  Instead of thinking of his own failures, he imagined up who else could be blamed.  If Art had only killed Oxx when he had run into him if only Bowen hadn’t stolen mom’s coat and just let the bastard keep it.  If only…the list went on.

Anger at others was fed as he tried to ignore his own pain.  It didn’t always work and sometimes Rudy realized what he was doing and rejected it, fighting off the alien way of thinking.  Rudy’s willpower wasn’t what it normally was at the moment though and anything that stopped some of his pain was worth listening to.  Rudy slid in and out of a dreamless sleep that did little for letting him feel rested and while there was no dream he always woke up with a jolt of fear.  For before he fully woke up there was a sense of darkness and something in the darkness scared him.

"Speech"