The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning

Fern watches Rudy with worry as he grumbles angry words about Art. In the short amount of time she has known them, Rudy had never said a bad word about his brother. Something was off about him and maybe if she wasn’t so damn tired, she could figure it out. When Rudy shakes his head, the gray girl notices his wince of pain and her lips pull down in a sympathetic frown. Rudy is so much pain that Fern decides she can forgive some things that he says.

Her tired eyes finally spot the ooze that slides down Rudy’s face and panic grips her heart. Is this a symptom of infection? When he wipes his nose and even more of the ooze appears, Fern opens her mouth to say something. The words, however, die on her lips. Rudy’s first words are that he doesn’t need the healer and, while they are spoken softly, Fern can feel the anger coiling around them. Brow wrinkle in hurt and confusion as Rudy calmly asks if she knows how to fight.

Golden yellow eyes watch the exhausted girl as her mind trips over itself, trying to figure out what he wants her to say. She feels like a storm is building and Rudy is just waiting for the wrong answer to unleash his fury on her. Mouth still open, Fern swiftly snaps it closed, waiting for his next words. The gray girl does not have to wait long for Rudy to call her useless.

The world tilts as Fern feels the rug being pulled out from under her. Here she thought she had met a genuinely nice wolf for the first time in her life. Oh, how wrong she had been. This time she does not need a mask as cold detachment settles over her. Fern will never belong anywhere and it was foolish of her to try. He demands to know how she will make herself stronger and she looks into his once kind eyes.

There is an unfathomable distance in her aqua gaze as everything sharpens in her exhausted mind. When she finally speaks, the words have no inflection, no emotion as Fern says, “Well Rudy, to tell you the truth, I am not planning on making myself stronger… here.” As soon as he as back on his paws, Fern will disappear into anonymity once again. If she is lucky, perhaps she will even see her mother soon.

Her monotone voice continues, “As for fighting Oxx… yes, you are right. I would be useless. However, seeing as I have no reason to fight him, I guess I won’t be a hinderance in that department.” Why should fight a wolf that took down Rudy when he cares nothing for her? Besides he has his family who loves him. Let them deal with Oxx and the fighting. Rudy has already said it himself, she is useless.

Taking a step back from Rudy’s bedside, the distant girl says, "When I leave, I will be sure to ask Artorias, the leader of the Hallows, to come watch over you.” It is a low blow and Fern knows it but she doesn’t care right now. All the sad girl can think of is the days spent by his bedside, the energy and worry she had given him. Sleep has been elusive for her and it is all because of him. Never again will trust a stranger’s kindness.

Painting a smile on her features, eyes cold, Fern asks, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Rudyard, before I go fetch your brother?”



"Speech"