I Want It, But I Don't

Segin gave a little nod when Gypsy told him that she had come out here to think, a soft smile pulling at his lips. "That's understandable." With the way things had been going there was no shortage of things to think about and consider. He wasn't going to press her for more details, instead just content to be here with her for a little while, but eventually she went on and explained a bit more with some hesitation and struggle to get the words out. His silver eyes lingered on her with a worried curiosity as she finally managed to tell him what was on her mind, revealing her thoughts on how she thought she wouldn't be able to give Indigo what he wanted. His brows pulled together with confusion for a moment until she added how she knew that their former leader and Duchess were obviously sleeping together and how she didn't know if she could do that anymore. He didn't know all of Gypsy's backstory, but he knew enough to know that anything related to physical touch or affection were not easy things for Gypsy. It was a common theme for all of them that Indigo had scooped up and he was really the only one it seemed that took the opposite approach of diving head first into his demons to drown them out with better things.

His ears flicked back with sympathy and he frowned as she expressed how afraid she was of intimacy. It hurt his heart to know this was bothering her so deeply and part of him wished he could do the same thing he had done with Emersyn for Gypsy—give her a better experience to start easing the pain of her trauma with and start rebuilding what sex could be in her mind. He remembered how even a little touch had made her react though so he knew it wouldn't be nearly that easy. "Even I'll admit that Indigo does have a tendency to go for physical affection more often than not, but I also know he would never think less of you or not prefer you just because you can't give that to him," he assured her even though that wasn't even really the biggest issue here in his mind. "He's going to love you the same either way. The way you've been so incredibly dedicated means more than anything else ever will."

But that didn't really get to the root of the issue, did it? Even if it was triggered by how she felt in regards to Indigo, it was still a fear that could continue to fester for the rest of her life and no one deserved to live like that. He paused, considering his words before he added gently, "I know what happened in the past can't be undone. Those scars, physical and mental, are real and I can't just make them go away even though I wish I could. But... If... If you ever wanted to try anything, even if it's just little things like snuggles and kisses, I would be happy to help you with that. I will not pressure you or ask you for anything, just... know the invitation is there if you need someone to take baby steps with." He looked down at his dark paws, snuffling around a bit of snow under them. "It's never easy the first time or sometimes even the second or third time after... after being hurt like that, but I promise it does get better—especially when its with someone you care about."

Segin Epsilon