Tell Me What To Do

She kept him there, with just the gentle deep kiss as long as he would have let her. She wanted to help him in the way she had found herself, it was her reason for being here. But now that she was here, tight in his arms, her mouth to his, she found herself down a deeper hole than she in was just a moment ago. She almost felt like she was draining Indigo's pain as their time went on together, not that he was really feeling any better or showing that. But her own mood had plummeted into a despair almost as harsh as his own. She was down at the bottom of the pit with him.

Her face pulled away from his carefully, like if they detached she would shatter them both. "Indigo..." Her breath caught itself from the tears that they had shared, "Please..." her voice broke while her sightless eyes closed and she almost fell limp in his arms, "Please kill me..." She had been walking through her life since the loss almost carelessly, like life was no longer worth living. But she hadn't had the thought of ending her life herself. She knew in her heart that she wanted to die, even if this was just a part of grieving for her. She felt like everyone hated her for sabotaging Indigo. She didn't feel beautiful or worthy enough for him. And without him and the band, she felt there was nothing for her. "I did this to you." She had withdrawn into herself, her voice almost hard to make out like confessing how she felt was just too painful to say out loud. She had went against his wishes, caused his sister to leave him, caused him to experience this horrific loss. She felt like everything was pointed directly at her. She couldn't help feeling these emotions, even if what she believed wasn't entirely the truth.

"Duchess"