The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning

Rudy knew the monotone voice being the sort used to hide emotions and was aware what he had said was rude.  The problem was that he had a hard time caring.  Raising his good paw to press his ear down and squeezing it pushing out more ooze.  Rudy started to raise his paw with the missing toes then put it down, tilted his head but dared not shake.  Finally, he lowered his head, placed it sideways, and rubbed till it squeezed some ooze out of it.  This was going to be infuriating!

Rudy could hardly think straight between pain, depression from events, the annoyance of the ooze, and the sickness.  Everything was a distraction and things should be said to Fern but every time he thought of it something else stole his attention.  Damn it!  “That’s a bad idea,” Rudy muttered then his lips pulled back to show his teeth but it's just to watch some ooze drip from his mouth. “Oh c’mon!”

Rudyard glared up at her as if all the wrongs going on were her fault, mostly because she was there and none of his problems would care if he yelled at them.  “I can’t deal with you right now!” Rudyard snapped.  “Leave me alone!" a pause, “well, see me later but not now…” the last part was drawled out as he tried to think straight.  “But go away now damnit.  I don’t need art, I don’t need Gwyn, or anyone else.

Rudy huffed, got his back legs and good front leg under him, and shoved himself to his feet.  The world rocked around him.  What was from sickness and what was from injury?  Some part of his stomach twisted as he imagined her leaving only to have Oxx find her and yet another part wanted her gone, wanted to be alone and try to get himself sorted out.  Rudy wanted to vent the confusing storm building in him.  He didn’t dare try to take a step but added on, “Get out of here before I make you.  If you want to leave then fine but get an escort.”  It was a mixture of threat with concern in a twisted sort of manner.  There was a desire to protect her and a desire to chase her off.  Another part of his mind warned Rudy not to look back, some part of him didn’t want to see the empty spot his tail had been.  That shouldn’t be relevant at the moment!  ‘I’m sorry’ came to mind but he didn’t say it

"Speech"