shame me for my mistakes

*Audra* · 11-15-2021, 11:06 AM

[Image: daqb2ha-264d41d0-8bab-4611-883a-0e44d490...uxghdWN4CY]

Lost in a reverie of depression, swallowing her whole until the surroundings around her faded into fog, she was unaware of the wolf that came near. Her breathing was shallow as she rested her one good eye. Though her ears turned, listening to the soft plop of paws against the wet ground, she did not stir. If it were someone coming to end her, she would welcome it. Feeling heavy from the weight of the crystals growing over her body, she sucked in a breath of ooze. Breathing was harder now, but she would cough up what she could and wipe the ooze from her eyes. Succumbing to a puddle of oozy mush right there on the shore, she was surprised to feel a brush of fur against her body.

Plucking her good eye open and with a slight turn of her chin to look at who had come, her heart skipped a beat before sinking. How would it be fate that the one she cared about most had ventured here? Had it not been her goal to be sad alone? Feeling her stomach sink into a dark pit, she frowned before nestling closer to Avantika. Water lapped over both of their bodies as she felt the abrasion of crystals scratch against her skin. The pain was normal now and something she could easily forget about. Welcoming the warmth of the water wash over her matted fur and Avantika's body beside her, she touched her nose to that gingerbread cheek she had so easily fallen for.

"I'm tired too," Audra whispered, closing her eye once more. I'm sorry if I ruined everything. I'm sorry if I'm not who you expected me to be. I'm so sorry. The thoughts trailed through her mind as her throat felt scratchy and dry. There weren't enough words in the world for her to explain how she felt. "I might have some herbs in my pouch that could help," her soft honey-dipped voice broke the ebbing silence as she pulled away slightly. She wanted nothing more than to curl up with Avantika around a warm fire, covered in pelts, and to watch the sunset. It was a nice daydream that she wasn't sure would ever happen.

Raising her chin to look down at the water-soaked leather pouch around her neck, she carefully pulled it open and dumped out the contents. A myriad of dried plants spilled out onto the grass in front of them. Their floral scent hit her nose and forced her more awake than she had been in a while. Looking it over, Audra decided to pick out some elderberries, juniper, lavender, and marshmallow. She had other things such as lamb's ear, marigold, and horsetail, but there wasn't nearly enough to cover their crystal infest wounds. "Please, eat some, maybe it'll help," she coaxed what she had toward Avantika before consuming some of it for herself. It was hard to swallow and it tasted bitter on her ooze-covered tongue, but she hoped it would do something.

"After all of this is over if we survive, would you still want to be with me?" The words left her lips as she finished eating. Surprised by her own courage, Audra looked away with her chin curled toward her chest. It had been stupid of her to ask, but she had to. She had to know if there was any hope. Hope that this plague hadn't taken over the one thing she had wanted most in her life. Audra had wanted a future and someone to love and care for. A pack to come home to. Somewhere to even call home. Something to look forward to. Her heart ached as the stillness of night overcame her.

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