To Be You

Ulric didn't know where her story would go as she mentioned how it probably wasn't something that a father would want to hear, but no matter what it was he was just glad that she felt comfortable enough to share with him now. He certainly hadn't expected her to open up to him right away and had just hoped that with time she would be more comfortable with him. He gave her his attention as she revealed how Bella hadn't wanted her. That wasn't entirely new information for him from what she had said before, but it still hurt him to hear. He couldn't imagine not wanting his child to be in his life. His children were his greatest accomplishments and even though his relationship with Serenity was unconventional at best he was glad to have it. It hurt him in the same way that finding out that Aranea had attempted to kill herself and their children had hurt him. Hearing that Bella hadn't been sure that he was the father made him wonder just how many men she had been with before and after him. From how she had approached him he had assumed this wasn't exactly something new for her, but it still spoke volumes about that woman that she hadn't wanted her child and wasn't even certain who the father was.

Somehow that ended up paling in comparison to what she told him next and his frown deepened with concern and disgust when she told him that the men never slept with her, but did do other things. He would never press for more details than that, but there was something about the vagueness of it that allowed him to fill in the blank with things that horrified him and made him hope that he was just jumping to conclusions. Her saying that she had left before she was a year old made it worse—knowing that all of these things happened while she was just a pup... His jaw tightened as he fought with the feeling of wanting to rip the heads off of every man that had ever touched her, but that was so far in the past that it would have been impossible for him to even put together who the offenders were. It was something that would have to stay in the past and perhaps with the way she was talking about it that's how she preferred it to stay.

"If I had known... If I had even had an inkling that Bella could have been pregnant I would have stayed. I would have taken care of you," he said softly with regret. He knew there was nothing he could have done and no way he would have known, but he still wished things could have been different. "The day after I was with Bella my niece found me and I came back to Auster with her and my mother to try and find my sister... Even if I had stayed in that area for a little while longer..." He sighed and gave a shake of his head. "I'm sorry. I know there's no reason to wish and regret about the past, I just... I wish there's more I could have done."

Ulric Adravendi