Healing through fighting

Rudy smirked at the glib response about Rudy attempting to hurt him if it kept up.  Normally what he had wanted from Art was a bit of backup here, a bit of fun there and someone to share his dreams with.  Today it had been to keep a secret and his brother was giving him that too.  Rudy let out a slow exhale as he acknowledged that he had already expected Art to keep the secret.

Art’s next words made sense and were clearly the best path to take but Rudy had always bottled problems up.  The hardest up till now had been mom’s sickness and death but it had still been a shared pain.  At that time all f the family had been suffering and he’d managed to put his focus on their pain and in doing so made it easier t ignore his own feelings.  Funny.  Rudy loved talking of dreams, encouraging others, lifting spirits but just now talking about his own thoughts or feelings?  It didn’t want to come out.
 
Twirling the thoughts about in his mind he looked up at his giant brother, leaning in for a moment and letting out another slow exhale.  After a moment he looked at his brother, a small sick smirk on his face, “that bastard,” Rudy shook his head, “Said he’d help me learn to not talk too much.” Sure enough, Oxx had apparently done it.  Rudy had felt tongue-tied a lot more often lately than he used to. There was a moment of silence but Rudy didn’t seem so much done talking as deciding the next few words, “when we kill him Art, when we finally do,” Rudy wanted to say they take the tongue or they make it slow or that he wanted the creature to suffer. It sounded monstrous in his own mind to want to torture versus just kill, he didn’t want to admit to that ugliness, “Let him suffer first.  Don't give him the mercy of dying fast.” It wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t empty hot air.  He wanted that bastard to know pain, he wanted him to hurt fear and regret.

Rudyard Carpathius