I am not the man you thought I was

Eligos looked down, met Riva's eyes, saw the fears laid naked there and had no answer for her. No matter how it tore him apart to see her pain he could not fix this for her. Couldn't change what he had done.

Pyrrhic was suddenly in his face, shoving him back a staggering step with his paw to Eligos' chest. Eligos' jaw worked for a moment, the madness trying to flare up again to tell him to remove the paw that was shoving at him from the paw's owner, but black guilt and despair drowned out the tinny voice in his ears. "I had already attacked her once, not knowing it was her," he said quietly. "I knew I was capable of it, because I had hurt her. She was trying to help me. To..." His brow furrowed. He couldn't quite remember what she was doing. Trying to give him something? The edges of the memory were blurry and odd. "She tried to help me. I lost control. I blacked out. When I came to -" He took an involuntary breath. "When I came to, my jaws were on her throat. She was gone. There was no one else there with us. There was no one else who could have..." He trembled and dragged his gaze away from Riva's to his brother's. "I killed Dantalian."