I've Got Fire In My Soul

Fern waits for the leader of the Hallows, standing with quiet determination, in the sun. For the first time in… well forever, the gray girl has a moment of peaceful reflection. Has found a reason to be happy, to go on and she wants to protect it. She feels the familiar fears slowly creeping in from the dark corners of her mind. They wait, ready to pounce on her in a moment of weakness and fill her head with horrible ‘what ifs’. However, Artorias arrives swiftly and Fern is grateful for that. His presence keeps the dark thoughts at bay and she watches him quietly as he shoves a sword into the earth. Aqua eyes linger a moment on the deadly object before moving to meet Art’s ember eyes.

His voice soothes her, lets her know that the leader is there to help her and a soft smile appears on gray lips. With determination in her voice, Fern says, “I want to join the Hallows.” She lifts her head, proud to be asking such a question. And yet… there are things Artorias needs to know. Quickly she adds, “Let me explain.” Gesturing a paw toward the ground next to her, Fern invites the leader to sit. Following her own advice, the gray girl folds her back legs to sit once more and waits for Art to make his choice. Fern bows her head as she orders her thoughts and slows the frantic thumping of her heart.

Inhaling deeply, Fern brings her head up to look over the gardens. When she speaks, her voice is calm and detached, like a person reciting facts. She says, “I know Rudy told you about my mother, Meadow. How she and Resin were sisters. But… there is more to the story than that.” Memories take form in front of her eyes as continues, trying to hold her emotions in check, “I was born in a wandering band of ragtag wolves to a mother who was prone to flights of fancy. Meadow meant well… she really did but anytime she found something even resembling happiness, she ran.”

A shrug of gray shoulders tries to show she is indifferent to this fact but a deep sadness resides in her eyes. A sigh escapes as Fern explains, the sadness tinting the words, “It made for a rough beginning, always moving without knowing why I had to leave my friends behind. Still, l loved her and, for all her flaws… she loved me.” A sad smile ghosts over gray lips and Fern shoots a glance toward Art before continuing, “Everything changed when she died. I lost everything that day and… I didn’t think I could go on. But there was something she told me, something I held onto during the long months after. It was a name… her name. Resin.”

Fern’s eyes move to look into Art’s ember gaze, to try and convey the hope that she held onto in the long, dark, lonely nights. After a moment she drops her gaze, suddenly feeling unworthy to hold the gaze of a son of Resin. Emotions leak into every word as she keeps talking, “Resin was the flicker of hope I hung my life on. When I got here and found out she was dead… I just wanted to disappear. But Rudy gave me hope. Well, he did for little while.” Another shrug as thinks of the events that led up to her swift departure during the ooze. But Artorias knows about that and about what had happened in the infirmary so she glosses over that part.

A shy, happy smile slowly tugs her lips up and excitement laces as Fern says, “When I came back, I was afraid he was angry at me, hated me for… well… being me.” The smile grows as she shakes her head. The tone of her voice changing to one of joy and slight bewilderment as she says, “But Rudy didn’t hate me! He wasn’t even mad. And I… kind of…” Gray paws shift against the ground as her heart hammers in her chest. Is she really going to admit her feelings for Rudy to his brother? “I love Rudy.” Aqua eyes round in fear as she looks up to the leader of the Hallows. Did she really just blurt that out? Quickly she speeds ahead, needing to voice the words before Artorias can react, “I love Rudy and I want to stay and protect the wolf I love. And… I want to protect the family I have found.”


"Fern"