Diamonds and Platinum

She wished it was easier for them both to understand what the other was feeling. It felt like neither of them were able to fully convey what they were trying to say and it only led to more confusion, more heart ache. It seemed like the only thing they could really agree on was that they didn't want to lose the other. They had been through more together than most could probably imagine and she didn't want to throw all of that away. The only thing she didn't know was whether they could keep living like they were together without tearing themselves apart. Even if she still didn't understand the guilt he felt about them being together she didn't need to understand it to see that it was bothering him. She didn't feel guilt over what they were doing, but his guilt hurt her and made her feel like she couldn't be what he needed.

She watched his face as he explained how what he was trying to say in bringing up Psalm was that she meant more to him than she did, but that fact hurt him to say as well. She at least understood what he was trying to say. It would have been far easier on him if he had fallen for Psalm, if he was attracted to Psalm. There wouldn't be the difficulty of them being siblings, he wouldn't have to let down someone he cared about. If that's how things had gone maybe it would have been easier on them all. But now they were here, breaking each other to try and stay together, struggling to find a balance. She didn't doubt him when he said that he loved her even though it made her heart ache to hear it. She wished things could just be simple, but their lives had never been simple and this clearly wasn't any exception.

Her ears settled against her head and she looked down at her paws for a moment, trying to piece together her thoughts. "I wish I didn't make you feel guilty," she said softly, shifting a bit to lean into him lightly. She reached her pale paw over to his paw that wasn't on her back, resting her much smaller paw on top of his. She didn't feel like they had truly resolved any of their issues, but at least she didn't feel so in the dark. There was no fixing what bothered them. There was no way to make them no longer siblings and there was no way to change how he felt. "I love you too," she added quietly, turning her gaze back up to his. They were both too worn and tired to resolve anything tonight so now all she wanted was to keep the peace.

"Azzurra & Balthier"