but when I think of you another shower starts

Silence stretched between them, heavy and thick, as Ophie processed what she was asking her. She couldn't imagine staying anywhere for anyone, not just because she was upsetting or disappointing them.. maybe if they really needed her to survive, but she knew this wasn't a situation like that. She clenched her jaw as she let her friend fumble for the words, noting that she looked uneasy - even panicked. Kaija tried to steel her temper that threatened to flair, averting her gaze momentarily. Why was this decision a hard one? And why did it hurt so badly that she wasn't as quick to agree as she had hoped? Already she had visions of their journeys together. They'd go far north and see the sights her father spoke of so fondly, and someday they'd go south to the continent few wolves dared ventured to. They'd see it all, together. Or.. not, maybe.

She didn't sigh. Hell, she barely even breathed as Ophie finally answered and she tried to think of every way she could possibly convince her to come with her. Screw her father and screw the Armada and whatever it stood for. None of it mattered. "You wouldn't.. slow me down. Or frustrate me. It's not about going fast or anything. It's just about, you know, adventure," Kaija explained, sounding meek and far less convincing than she'd hoped. Maybe she shouldn't try to convince her - Ophie wasn't gonna leave anyway, was she? "It's okay. You don't have to do anything. I just-" the words caught in her throat as she tried to say them. "I can't just stick around here... you know, waiting for you all the time. Hoping you can come out and play when you're not training or doing whatever pack wolves do." Her words were low, but said as gently as she could muster. She was frustrated, but not at Ophie, and she wouldn't take it out on her.

And were those tears that pricked at the back of her eyes, threatening to spill? She wouldn't let them come to fruition. Kaija blinked hard and continued. "There's stuff I wanna see, and do, and I can't.. I dunno, I need to live while I still can." Losing her mom had taught her that above all else that she didn't want to settle. She wouldn't hang around here and grow bitter than she wasn't getting to see the world because of anyone, even Ophie. Even if she.. "I really l- The words caught in her throat painfully, and she struggled to dislodge them, clearing her throat. "I love.. hanging out with you. A lot. But I need to go see the world, so I might not see you around for awhile, I guess." Come with me, please, her eyes pleaded, but she wouldn't beg and grovel, she wasn't that type. And she didn't want Ophie to settle either, not if she wasn't ready.