a moment's breath

Audra stopped suddenly and turned on Avantika. There, now she'd done it. She really had tried to keep Audra from noticing. She wanted to enjoy the festival and more than anything she wanted Audra to enjoy it too. But it hadn't worked, for all her efforts. She couldn't please everyone, no matter what she did. Either she was betraying her pack or her girlfriend. She had so much love for both of them, and yet nothing ever turned out like it should. It felt unfair. It was one of those indescribably... indescribably indescribable feelings; all she wanted to do was figure out some way to split herself in half and then again and again and again, no matter how much it hurt to tear her own body into pieces, so that she could somehow be everything good for every single thing she loved. If the world was fair, she'd be able to.

Audra's words made her feel even more like a disgusting little slug that had just killed a puppy. In other words, she felt loved. She had to be worthy of this love -- the love of her pack, her Audra, every single thing in the world. She felt horrendously grateful.

Her eyes pricked with tears as well. "I'm in love with you, too, Audra. I'm sorry, and I promise I'll try." Trying was all she'd been doing and it hadn't really worked, but it was also all she could do. She was going to have a good day today, even if she had to fight for it tooth and nail. She would try her absolute best. She grinned. "But I wasn't lying about having no idea what we should do first."

"Speech"