the overactive mind of a believer

A sheepish chuckle left the Aegis and he smiled to Avantika's comment about him being hard on himself. Perhaps she was right, but that had always been Artorias' curse; he was his own worst enemy when it came to criticizing himself. Everything he did felt like it had to be a representation of the family Carpathius and of his mother's memory and legacy. Anything less felt like some sort of failure and dishonor. "Yeah yeah, I know," he remarked with another sigh. "I just... This is the first time we're holding the ceremony, you know? And it's for Mom, and I don't want to let her down." Tika might have seen Art as perfect, but the young brute definitely did not see himself with such high regard. All he had ever wanted was for his family to be happy, healthy, and safe. So far, he'd witnessed Tamsyn be scarred for life, watched Resin die horrifically just out of reach, seen Rudyard maimed alone in the forest, and watched helpless as his siblings became sick during the Long Night. Some perfect alpha he was...

Artorias was good at hiding it, but every so often, the weighty thoughts would darken his gaze as his demons danced about in his brain. Tika seemed intrigued when he mentioned the prospects of an alliance with Ashen. He was glad to see that, given how she'd felt about uniting with Fenmyre. Now that there was another uncertain presence living in southern Auster though, he was glad for the union of the two other Austerian packs—just in case. Hattori was a wildcard, a variable he didn't know how to handle yet. Only time would tell how the packs interacted, if at all. "They're a very proud and noble pack, led by Venom of the family Abraxas," he began to explain while they walked. "You might remember her and her family from the tournament last summer. Venom and I have been talking about creating a union between her empire and our family." Artorias turned a half smile to his sister. "Don't worry, we aren't becoming vassals or subjects of them or anything. Mom didn't want that, and I won't let it be that way either. After everything that happened during the Long Night, I think Venom is beginning to see the need for friends more and more, and having a powerful and influential wolf like her on our side would be a boon."

Thoughts of the pirate raid returned to his mind. Had they been allies with Ashen at the time, perhaps the threat of the empire's wrath would have deterred Sparrow. Then again, likely not. The Pirate King was as brash as she was bold. If anything, she might have seen it as more of a challenge. "Can I ask you something, Tika?" Art would wait long enough for his sister to reply giving him permission before asking the question, "Are you happy?" It was a heavy question to be dropping, but it had been weighing on the Aegis' mind since Audra had approached him with her concerns. He knew Avantika was safe in the Hallows—hell, she kept it safe herself!—and he knew that she was healthy, physically speaking. But was his sister happy? Artorias looked with gentle, curious eyes to his tawny sister, wondering if this was still what she wanted in her life. "Audra mentioned the two of you were maybe considering starting a family sometime soon? Would that make you happier?"

"Artorias Carpathius"