Her paws would carry her habitually through the mangroves around the borders as she so often did. Now it was not even worth thinking about as she padded along, her feet would take her where she needed to be. A year. It had been a whole year since she had joined the sea side pack. She had certainly come a long way. So had her siblings apparently. Howl had been running through her thoughts a lot recently. His words had certainly stung, and they were not leaving her no matter what the rest of their siblings said. She should have spoken to Cherokee about it more, or even opened up to Novella. She just could not bring herself to voice what she could now feel herself starting to believe. It was her fault that Novel ignored the other pups. She had not fought back earlier she had not taken the alpha ship from her mother. If she had done what tradition called for and taken the pack as she proved herself against her mother maybe the family would have still been fully together. She should have stayed to take care of them, but instead she had run off for selfish intentions and never looked back.
She felt as though she loved her sibling, deep down she knew she did, but why did it feel like she failed them so horribly? She could feel her head start to shake as she found disappointment in herself. She had never doubted her actions until this point, Howl was right, she couldn't really say that she loved them. Not after she had left like that and never returned. She could feel herself stop. The emotions overflowing within her. She couldn't go back to the den like this. The pups couldn't see her cry, she'd already let Novel and Canta see her lose her cool once, she wouldn't let it happen again.
She never let emotion get the better of her but she found it useless to try and keep the waves of regret and sadness that began to attack her. She had to let them out, she was not strong enough to keep her poise, nor did she want to. Tears fell freely from her bicolored eyes as her tail fell and her head sank low. Never had she felt to be such a failure, and to those who she should have loved the most. Song began to weep as she stood exposed at the border, her mind far away from earthy things.
