Hit the reset button

"My own life was saved by the kindness of those outside of my species, so I try to be a little more open-minded these days."
I held her gaze within my own, feeling the steadiness of her words. She was serious. Her vulnerability had me hold my tongue, feeling as if I stepped over bounds. I cut my gaze to the side away from her. So she had her own demons perched upon her back... I see.

"I don't want anything from you. Cats are fairly self-sufficient while wolves are not." My lips twitched at her statement, but I bit my tongue. Things were turning now. The distrust that I felt earlier came seeping back like a bad relapse and it forced my body to pull into itself again. The only reason why I felt the need to hold my tongue now was the fact that I knew I provoked her. When she answered my rhethorical question, I could help but mentally roll my eyes. So she was soft. That's why she's helping me. That's why she came up to me in the first place. Those fluffy mittens that I thought could kill a bear, now im wondering if she strokes little squirrels to sleep too. Maybe even providing them with a meal for the night. I didn't know cats but I knew a push over when I saw one.

I snorted, letting the words roll off my shoulders. Pansy or not, her remarks alone did make me almost want to apologize. Almost.
My intent wasn't to tick her off, she kind of walked into those remarks on her own. I wanted... I needed help. Maybe even needed help asking for help. Thinking about it hurt my head and made me just want to tell her to go away. Ugh. I couldn't do that. I couldn't fuck up what may just be the best thing that could happen at this moment. Did I deserve to ask the universe for another chance?

My muscles gave leniency to my weight, allowing me to falter towards the ground a few inches. She was right about more things than one, and in this case I needed more help than I think either one of us was able to provide. My expression quickly contorted into anguish as I flexed my arm out and back down. I really did think it had closed enough for me to walk but -
"Distrustful and a liar,"
"I didn't lie." I pushed through my teeth, taking care to hold myself up for a moment longer. Crimson orbs gazed back at her fiercely.
" I AM going to be okay. I just need rest." My body lowered now and I couldnt help the shaking my shoulders gave as I did so. She couldn't see the scars littered under my pelt... but if only she knew that this wasn't my dance with my own blood, maybe she'd... I dont know. Understand what I meant.

She gave a swift command before padding off, leaving me alone in the frosty white powder. I shivered slightly and let my eyes fall back down to my paws, gritting my teeth as I did so. I allowed a few minutes of ruminating to happen before I took a swipe at the snow with my tail.
Stronger than this. I reminded myself. I had to shut down the misplaced anger but a larger part of me still didnt want to. Her words bore under my skin like a termite.
"You dont know me." I muttered, feeling the hair begin to raise up on my back.
"Not one thing about me!" I yelled out.
Her generosity act was swarming my mind like quicksand, and I found my thoughts drowning in confusion. I didn't like that I was becoming clouded again and with her gone, I was able to think. I was able to let my guard back down and breathe through it.
In like smelling flowers, out like the wind. Mother's voice came back to me and for a moment, I smiled. I wasn't doing a very good job at camouflaging myself in front of her, and I could see that I was already beginning to push buttons.
"I'm sorry," Sorry that I let the demons get the better of me again. I promised I would protect myself from them, and protect them from you too mom. I should have known better than to keep toying with fire. Damned boredom sometimes makes me foolish.

My head came up to her coming up and over the hill carrying something large in her mouth. The whole damn thing? She dropped it in front of me and I couldnt help but stare at it, back up at her, and then back at it in disbelief. It didn't take long for the watering in my mouth to become insatiable and without a care for how I moved my body, I crawled into it. Tearing at the flesh with vigor and excitement. The skin of the creature had already cooled to the outside temperature. But the insides were still steaming hot and flowing with life force. It hit me like an explosion. A bomb detonated inside my body. The taste flowing into my mouth and down my throat almost had me undone and I didn't stop until I felt like if I took another bite, I might actually explode.

It was satisfaction, it was bliss. As I pulled from the crater of the animal, my eyes closed and I quietly said a prayer thanking the heavens for this gift. Opening my eyes, I landed on the large cat. "Thank you as well." I woofed to her. In that moment, I felt like I had to swallow some of my pride. "Indeed some wolves aren't able to be self-sufficient." I exhaled, licking my maw as I did so. Oh, what a mess I was.

My attention turned towards under my arm again and I sniffed before giving my body a few good licks. I didn't want to ask her for more help. I really really didn't. But I wasn't sure how I was going to get it otherwise. What that man did, it was starting to give off a strange odor. And I began to fear that it was going to become infected... if it wasn't already. I laid my head in the snow, opting for quietly watching the female groom herself.