Making Moves

Bowen mumbled unintelligibly into the furs in response to Artorias' beliefs on the reliability of her heart. It had led her back to them, he said, then reiterated, saying that it led her back to him. The silken fae turned her head just enough to fix the blue brute with one emerald eye. Truer words, and all that. He was indeed the reason that she had returned. Yes, she held love for her siblings, her mother, but... she could live without them. Bowen couldn't live without Artorias. He had been her constant while she was away; her beacon in the dark. Perhaps she placed him upon a pedestal, but, in her eyes, that was where he belonged.

The man trailed kisses along one sable colored paw, drawing little mmph sounds from Bowen with each kiss. He then wrapped one muscular foreleg around her, drawing her in close before turning the attention of his lips to the backs of her crown, neck and ears. Tingles ran up Bowen's spine like little dancing fingers and a shudder ran through the fae's body, finally forcing her to raise her face from the furs. Artorias spoke words of wisdom and Bo's ears flicked backwards. He always said these nice things about her, but it was difficult to believe them when her own self-worth was so low. She would never call him a liar, however.

Artorias spoke tender words, delivered tender touches and caresses and Bowen was lulled into a state of calm for a short while. He complimented her and she accepted it, though she still couldn't see what he saw in her. When he mentioned that he hoped he was worthy, Bowen released a single, abrupt laugh. Her brow screwed up and she looked at him, head shaking. "You're a king, Artorias. The king of this entire place and of all its wolves. You're worthy of anyone." The woman inhaled deeply. "Perhaps that's why I feel so unworthy."

When asked if she wanted to share her thoughts with him, Bowen grimaced. She thought about it for a long moment, trying to formulate the words in her mind, but eventually stopped trying and just spoke. "You could have anyone that you wanted in your bed and, honestly, that scares me. Who's to say that you won't find someone better than me? Someone that will take up more of your time which will leave less for me." It was something that she thought about often. She dwelled on it a lot. She dwelled on many negative thoughts, but this was a big one. Bowen was just his crazy little sister. She had nothing to offer that would keep him by her side.

Shrugging off the man's embrace, Bowen slid down from the mattress and onto the stone floor, her long tail snaking off of the furs behind her. She needed a bit of distance between them so she could focus on her thoughts rather than on the hard, warmth of his body pressed against hers. "I don't mind sharing with Briar. I actually like her, you know?" A short, sardonic laugh left the woman and she shook her head. "But the thought of you fucking other women..." Finally, she turned to look her brother square in the eye. "I can't even explain how much that fills me with rage. And it's not fair. Not fair to you one bit, but I can't help it."

Bowen began to pace back and forth, her pale claws clicking on the stone. "I'm lonely," she finally admitted aloud. "I'm lonely, and when I'm alone, I dwell on stupid, pointless things. They eat me up inside." Without Haiku around to talk to, to spend time with while Artorias was busy or with Briar, it left a lot of time for Bowen to just sulk and overthink.

"I'm also worried," her voice grew a little softer and her pacing stilled. "I want to be faithful to you, but I don't know if I can. You can't be at my beck and call whenever my urges push their way to the forefront." Bowen raised a paw, rubbing the area between her eyes as the beginnings of a headache were forming. "I hate not being in control. When that need is upon me, I'd most likely agree to anything from anyone just to alleviate it." Well, she hadn't planned on ranting and raving to Artorias, but there it was. Again Bowen sighed, giving her head yet another shake. "Maybe I should just go. I'm more trouble than I'm worth, Artorias."

"Bowen & Artorias"