Conflicting Thoughts

Aliana had asked Chimera directly what was bothering him, and the massive brute did not hold back. He admitted what was on his mind, and in that instant, all of the clouded queen's suspicions and doubts had been confirmed. Chimera was attracted to Reila, the veritable stranger on the island, in much the same way he had been attracted to Viper. He admitted so aloud to her and with candor. With every word the brute spoke, the diminutive fae's smile gradually diminished and slipped from her lips until she was simply left gazing up at the dire brute with an empty, impassive stare. Ali fell back into the habit of repressing any emotion she had learned as a slave; concealing everything she felt from Chimera in that instant. The walls went back up, the light dimmed in those bright aquamarine eyes as her brain worked to comprehend what he was telling her.

He explained how when he thought of Reila, he also thought of her. Somehow, that made it even worse. Knowing that he had her in his mind at the same time he was having these lecherous thoughts of the other woman who'd washed up on their shores from gods knew where felt more like a slap in the face than a compliment to his feelings for her. Aliana hid the hurt behind her vacant gaze, a talent she had learned well, and she knew Chimera would be too emotionally inept to dig for. A large paw took hers in his iron-like grasp, and Ali gazed down at where he held her for a moment, but she didn't feel the rush of joy she had in the past when he'd shown her such affections. This felt more like an attempt to soften a blow than a show of love. For the first time in over a year, Aliana wanted to pull her paw away from Chimera. She didn't though, instead letting him hold it for his own peace of mind. As upsetting as the revelations were, she just couldn't bring herself to do anything to hurt Chimera in turn.

Chimera finished by admitting that he knew this would upset her, but he would rather be honest with her. Aliana's lips pulled into a tight line while she just listened to what he had to say. All the while, the monochrome woman just kept wondering how she'd been so foolish to think she'd ever be enough for him. When she'd been bought by Siren, Chimera had his sister and Viper, and they hadn't been enough. Then he claimed her, and then he claimed Dalila. How stupid she'd been to think that he'd be satisfied with that. The bitterness and envy ate away at her heart, foreign emotions that felt wholly unwelcome in her soul, yet she couldn't shake them. When she'd arrived, Chimera already had his other women, which had made it easy to accept his lifestyle. She was the new addition—the intruder, as it were. Then he'd taken Erystotle, and while Ali didn't exactly like him claiming more lovers, she understood the need for Chimera to have a man for his sexuality, and she'd accepted it. But taking another woman... We'll never be enough, she thought dejectedly. Not three, not five, not a thousand. Chimera would never be satisfied.

She didn't know how long the quiet stretched out after he had finished speaking. To be honest, she hadn't even been paying attention, so lost in her own headspace that time seemed irrelevant. She didn't look back up at him, turning her head to shift her gaze from their paws out to the crackling fire just to have something to look at that wasn't him. It was too upsetting and corrupting her thoughts to be looking at him right now. There were no words she could think of to say. Part of her wanted to apologize for not being enough for him. Another part wanted to pull away and leave him here. Instead, Aliana just murmured a single response: "Oh..."

"Aliana"