Conflicting Thoughts

The more Aliana spoke her mind, the more frustrated she could see Chimera becoming. He rubbed his temples, he groaned, he sighed, he threw his head back in exasperation and stared up at the sky. It almost made Ali want to stop taking and clam up again for all the good it seemed to be doing; now she was just annoying him. Somehow the once-slave found her courage to persevere through and say what was weighing on her heart. Whether it did any good or not was entirely up to however Chimera took it, but at least she hadn't held anything back. No sooner had she finished speaking, the dichromatic brute was rising to his paws and stalking towards her from around the fire. Aliana very nearly recoiled from his approach—partially out of habit from when the slavers would come at her as such, and partially from the memories of a younger Chimers approaching her like this just before he savaged her. But instead of teeth and claws and blows, Ali felt strong arms pulling her up into his form, wrapping her up tight in an embrace she couldn't have escaped from even if she tried.

Aquamarine eyes blinked while her clouded brow furrowed in bewilderment. Out of nowhere, Chimera had just scooped her up in a hug and wasn't letting her go now. With the way he held her clutched to his chest, Ali could hear and feel the steady rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat, and his lips placing soft kisses on her crown frustrated and infuriated her in her tempestuous state. Her king started to speak, starting with the soft utterance of her name, then reassuring her that he had never loved another as much as he loved her. Then he admitted he didn't think he could love another as much as her. That was what it took to finally break down the tiny queen's hardened walls. Aqua eyes screwed shut and she began to tremble with quiet sobs, letting all the anger and worry and resentment flow out of her soul. What she had heard was that Chimera loved her—but she had also heard him confess to not knowing he could never love anyone more than her. That meant that her fears had a very real possibility of someday coming true.

Chimera explained to her the method behind his madness: he gave pieces of himself to the wolves that needed to be healed under his protection. Erystotle and Reila were shown love because they had never known any and it was what they needed. She had needed his love too, though he admitted she hadn't been as broken as they were. Aliana hated how much she loved the way he held her and touched her as he stroked her side, trailed his claws over her ribcage, kissed her forehead. It made the confusing emotions all that more confusing. She didn't want to be mad or upset at Chimera. She didn't want to feel so weak and out of control and emotional. With her eyes still closed, Aliana pressed her head further into Chimera's broad chest and luxurious coat, sniffling back the sobs still making her body tremble in his hold. "Please don't love anyone else more..." she mumbled between shaky breaths against his skin. "You're all I have, Chimera. You and our sons. If you stopped loving me, I'd... I'd..."

I would die. She wasn't brave enough to speak the words aloud, but the clouded queen knew the truth. Ali didn't want to keep her mate from doing what brought him happiness, including taking his additional lovers to "heal". But when Chimera said she hadn't been as broken as the others, that hadn't been true. Oh, she had been—just not in the ways he saw with Erystotle or Reila. Aliana had known nothing in her life. Not her parents, not her siblings, not a single friend. She had existed as a ghost, floating through each day just surviving because it was all she could do. It was how she was able to take all the abuse she had; all the bitings and beatings, the ratings and defilings. Now that she'd seen what living was like thanks to Chimera, losing that would be like losing her soul. She'd rather die than go back to how she was before. Which was why she knew the harsh truth of her reality: if Chimera ever loved another more than her and took her as his queen instead, he would have to kill Aliana in the process as a mercy.

"Aliana"